Delhi. After years of being Missing in Action on Diwali, the memo the Moon sent via satellite thousands of eons ago has finally reached Earth.
For centuries, pious Indians have claimed that lighting candles during the popular occasion has been to celebrate the festival of lights, but in fact the Moon says that it is due to him displaying his resentment by hiding from being viewed by earthlings.
Apparently, unbeknownst to many Indians, Diwali celebrations for years has actually been an international well-planned out “war of lights” between the Moon and Candles everywhere fighting to the very end to see who can be the brightest of all.
Sources reveal that the Moon in fact is extremely resentful at being outshone by Diya’s and Candles Indians alight on the auspicious day.
“It is true”, one candle told Faking News journalists moments before being set alight in his protest against the Moon on Diwali. “The Moon is very jealous of our shining statement on Diwali but really, he is nothing more than a spoilt brat. I mean he just had Karwa Chauth where Indian women everywhere had no time to look anywhere else but him, but he still greedily wants to be the centre of attention all the time!”
Even matches are getting in on the action, vehemently claiming that the Moon is actually a trouble maker, citing women are so grumpy after fasting an entire day on the popular festival of Karwa Chauth, supposed to protect their husbands, they end up irritated at their “better halves” demanding that they partake in the fast as well.
Faking News attempted to contact the Moon but apparently, the notorious natural satellite has already set out on his bold statement of protest leaving his Public Relations Team to answer any queries following his retreat.
“The Moon remains steadfast in his stance on Diwali till this day” his main Public Relation Specialist Monty the Martian responded. “He is sick and tired of having to make an appearance most days when he is hardly noticed and takes offence to being outshone by what he strongly asserts are blatant plagiarised copies of him for illumination”.
Nevertheless, Faking News Journalist sent mithai to the Moon in an effort to cheer him up on Deepavali, hoping the familiar shape of ras gula would appease him into believing that the popular Indian sweet was made in his image.