US fast food chain giants, popular amongst vegetarian Indians – Taco Bell and Subway reported high trading losses at NYSE after Indian PM, Modi took his cult dialogue “na khaoonga na khane doonga” to the next level, by announcing, he will observe fast during his US visit.
There were rumors that Taco Bell was planning to add a new Gujarati inspired dish to their premier $0.99 menu – ‘Black Beans fefla’ in his honor. Subway had earlier announced addition of ‘Chai’ to their breakfast menu.
Digvijay Singh suggested that fasting is actually to avoid using toilets during his stay in US. Although, PM Narendra Modi is impressed by the fact that US took his Independence speech seriously and has built more toilets in the country than Temples; it is believed the true RSS follower finds using Toilet Papers against Hindu Sanskriti. India TV went on to show videos of how Aliens from the outer world used disposed toilet papers for hand written communications to avoid being spied by US National Security Agency, NSA.
However, Times Now reporter were the first to uncover the real reason – PM Modi would be fasting in order to save dollars from his official ‘daily travel allowance’ to buy the newly released iPhone 6 plus.
It all started when technology savvy PM Modi learnt that just before going out of power, UPA government had secretly passed a bill ‘Kapil Sibbal Aaakash ka tara’ bill making Aakash Tablet, a UPA legacy, the official tablet for PMO office. Pankaj Pachauri (official twitter handle for Dr. MMS) had even deleted Twitter app from the aakash tablet before stepping down from office. Annoyed by the performance of ‘Made in India’ tablet, PM Modi set out on an international hunt to find the best device he could use for posting twitter comments and tagging Facebook pictures.
PM Modi first visited Japan, but could not buy any tablet, as his cellular carrier, Reliance Telecom, was not technically evolved to support latest Japanese tablets. Japanese PM Shinzo Abe later committed $35B investment to upgrade the Reliance cellular network over the next 5 years.
After learning the new developments, Chinese President Xi found an opportunity to sell Chinese manufactured tablets to Indian PM (some people believe Modi was always interested to buy a Chinese phone and had even visited Nepal, as he was told it is a big grey market to purchase imported Chinese products). President Xi landed in India on PM Modi’s birthday and is said to have brought the best Chinese manufactured Tablet trading on Alibaba web portal as a birthday gift. PM Modi rigorously tested the tablet performance, tested the network by using it in home network Gujarat and on data roaming in Delhi, tested camera stabilization features while taking pictures on a swing. However, the tablet was finally rejected, as the device didn’t support Hindi fonts for twitter and FB. Some Congress spokespersons had also cited concerns over Indian PM using a tablet with Chinese Maps on it.
Bill Gates also met Modi recently to personally make him part of the Windows powered Nokia Lumia family. But in the days while Bill Gates was booting the OS and creating @outlook account for PM Modi, Tim Cook announced the biggest ever apple iPhone – iPhone 6 plus.
Impressed by the ios 8 features and the size of tablet like iPhone, Modi finally made up his mind to go with Apple. Given the high demand and lower inventory in the Apple Stores, Modi settled for a Craigslist trade for an undisclosed amount. The amount is suggested to be so high that Finance Minister Jaitley could not sponsor the iPhone from his Central budget and that is when Modi finally decided to fund it from his own pocket. As per Macrumor reports, Tim Cook plans to personally come and receive PM Modi at the airport. Tim also suggested the desire to discuss hologram technology used by Modi during elections and include it in the Apple Watch release next year.
In the meantime Arvind Kejriwal submitted a PIA seeking SC intervention on Modi’s iPhone purchase. He suggested rather than spending time in US Modi should work on lowering Dialup modem data rates in the country so that the common man could setup home wifi and connect their Micromax mobile phones.