Friday, 18th August, 2017

MBA Timeline

29, Oct 2013 By Gareeb MBA

A MBA from one of the top 10 B grade schools in India, who has suddenly turned “entrepreneur” in his last few weeks of course has created a MBA timeline for 2012-14 to help the future aspirants who will become tomorrow’s leaders on Mars.

MBAstudent

April 2012: Results out. I am selected ! Need FB updates, have to taunt cousins, and start speaking in English with an accent even to a Rickshawala.

May 2012: Take bank loan, Claim to pay it back only in 2 years !

June 2012: Induction Ragging Week.

Question yourself – Why do some seniors in behind laugh when other seniors are familiarizing us about the institute and clubs ?

July 2012: Day 1 of class – Finance Professor gives Harvard case study to solve to a class comprising of 100 engineers. Finance becomes everybody’s fav. Rupee Dollar ratio worsens as hundreds pay for CFA.

Again Question Oneself: Had I known about CFA, would MBA be really required?

Aug 2012: Student Clubs start admitting. Get selected in 3 clubs after giving seniors a treat but if u r a girl, then nothing is really required !

But Ask your soul: Got selected though, but do these clubs really do anything ?

September 2012: Applied to placecom. One month wasted in doing tasks. Got rejected !

Your friend asks you: Will now get placed ?

October 2012: Summer placements. Got into a Startup. After getting selected……ask the company – Do you have a PPO policy, LOL ?

November 2012: Participated in annual case study competition, won it.

Jury declares – It was very difficult to choose as all were piece of bullshit, but yours was best presented !

Jan – Feb 2013: Final placements of seniors. They look sad, who cares I m getting PPO !

March 2013: Convocation. They look even sadder, who cares its not our convo !

April – May 2013: Internship – Guide asks definition of marketing. I am stumped. Hot HR says no PPO policy, but you can keep trying !!!

Company asks HR: Do we really require such idiots ?

June 2013: I am senior, time to take out frustration on juniors. Time for us to laugh on them !

Aug 2013: Engage juniors in various activities, in other words, blah blah blah blah blah blah bullshit.

Sept 2013: Going Europe on exchange !

After reaching there, does this institute is even have a rank ?

Oct 2013: Come back ! Why didn’t I just take Thomas Cook  Euro holiday package ?

Nov 2013: Search for Live projects. No point if you are a boy and not in any club.

Then Ask the Sharmaji on campus: Can I get a 1 week project in operations for your company, I ll be your new Ramu !

December 2013: Oops its our own placements ! Start studying for very first time. Did not get selected in laterals. Last of placecommers finally gets selected, now there is some hope.

Stand in front of mirror and ask: Why did I do choose going on date instead of doing last Placecom task ?

Jan 2013: All girls are now placed. Now AAM MBA’s like us can apply.

Ask the girls respectfully: Do you really think I am that stupid ?

Feb 2013: The cream (super creamy layer) of the batch gets placed. Still there are cherries on top left like me….

Finally one night placecom “persuades” me to follow the hallowed path of salvation – To become entrepreneur. Next day I “gracefully” signs myself out of placements to become ” one of the wealth creator of the nation”.

My family asked: What is the difference between entrepreneur (You) and unemployed ?

March 2013: Convocation again, eat as much you can to recover as much fees possible.

At last ask yourself, how about just simply joining family business !!!!!