Wednesday, 23rd August, 2017

Mars plans and packing lists of prominent Indians

26, Sep 2014 By MRP

Buoyed by the success of Mangalyaan mission, prominent Indians have finalized their plan to travel to Mars. All of them are optimistic that travelling to Mars will be feasible very soon. When asked how one could expect that human beings could travel to Mars when what we have done is just send a spacecraft to orbit the planed, one of aspirants, an ex-president of a national political party in power, on condition of anonymity said, “Why not? When the spacecraft could carry fuel of 850kg this time, why can’t it carry me? I am only 115 kgs. I would have travelled this time itself, but ISRO kept it a secret.”

Prominent Indians getting ready for the Mars trip
Prominent Indians getting ready for the Mars trip

Many others have their own plans for Mars. Karnataka MLAs have already decided that the next batch of them will go to the red planet for studying tourism, urban development and waste management. Captain Gopinath has applied for licence for a low cost airline to fly to Mars and for travel within Mars as well. Vijay Mallya too has applied for the same licences, but his will be luxury service with free beer. Kapil Sibal is planning to establish University of Mars and Smriti Irani is already studying for a degree from there. Sadananda Gowda has commissioned a feasibility study for a bullet train to or on Mars. Subrata Roy has started collecting money from investors for a housing project on land bought, sorry, acquired by Robert Vadra on Mars. Mayawati has demanded reservation of seats on the spacecraft for the underprivileged politicians.

Interestingly, several Mars trip aspirants from various spheres of life and various political parties, setting aside their differences, are coming together and discussing the matter with great enthusiasm. They have even gone to the extent of planning what to carry with them on their trip to Mars. Here are some items from the packing list of some of them who were ready to share it with this reporter.

Some of the names have been withheld on request or changed to conceal their identity and for security (of this reporter) reasons.

VP of a party that was in power till recently – milk powder and Chotta Bheem CDs

Yadav Prasad Lalu – a pair of cows and a bucket

Arwin Kejriwall – muffler, cough syrup and tent for holding dharnas

Chief Minister of a southern state where Tamil is spoken – tanks of Cauvery water

Subramanian Swami – hair dye

Mahawati – hundred statues of elephant (reason not disclosed)

Chetan Bhagat – unsold copies of his books

None Done Nilekani – his Aadhaar card

Salmon Khan – fake six-pack abs. Also body of a black buck to be left behind or buried on Mars

Sanjay Dot – AK-47

CSK Dhoni – home made biryani

Mohan Man Sing – would not talk, but showed a photograph with ‘Sonia Gandhi’ written below.