Monday, 26th June, 2017

Man watches Matrix movie twice to learn how to dodge HOLI balloon attacks

15, Mar 2017 By RT

Mumbai. A man of mid twenties, Neo from Worli, watched the movie Matrix twice, to learn how to dodge HOLI balloon attacks. The balloons come from all 360° and contain all things possible and not just colours. One has to develop Matrix like skills to avoid them, Neo told Faking News.

Watching Matrix to play the HOLI the perfect way
This year watching Matrix to play the HOLI the perfect way. Next year would come up with a technology

“The festival of HOLI over the years, got improvised in possible colours used, in possible liquids used and in possible substances used which are thrown at each other in the spirit of the festival. From rotten eggs to rotten vegetables and fruits to nasty water to anything and everything harmful is used by the festival mongers. Only Matrix like skills can avoid these attacks”, Neo told Faking News.

“Diwali used to be the most dangerous festival to be celebrated on earth till recently when HOLI has replaced it. NASA used to monitor the festival of Diwali very closely using satellites and even take and release photographs during Diwali nights. Now, the space organisation has changed to monitor HOLI. Any untoward incident is first spotted from the space itself”, Neo explained the need for out-of-the-world technology to tackle HOLI.

“I marvel at my reflexes. I have successfully crossed many busy Indian roads; successfully walked the streets during Hartals; and managed to walk scratch free during political rallies. All because of my good reflexes. But, for HOLI, I need Matrix like skills. I am not ‘Neo the one’ from the movie. However, I want to be like that one to handle the festival of colours”, Neo told Faking News.

The reporter from Faking News, on the way back, got numerous balloon attacks despite learning a few tricks from Neo on how to avoid them.