After the planning commission spent a whopping 35 lakh rupees in renovating the toilets at its office, several people have reported gold coins dropping from their poop whenever they used those commodes for attending the call of nature.
Some MLAs have also reported that the droppings increased in size and amount whenever they visualized
tax havens heavenly places like Switzerland, The Bahamas or the Cayman Islands while they were shitting on us. The planning commission has taken the news so seriously that it is in an ‘advanced’ stage of planning to appoint the CBI to carry out some investigations.
When our reporter sought clarifications on the commission’s decision, the ministry explained that the Constipated Bowels’ Investigators (CBI) is a body trained specifically to carry out such high-tech investigations
which eventually go down the drain. Its officers have received the special toilet training required to investigate such ‘waste’ matters plaguing our nation.
After persuasion from Monty Singh Ahlawat, the deputy-chairman of the planning commission Baba Lakshmandev was called in to verify some people’s claims of currency notes dropping in along with some random shit and he has indeed acknowledged those claims.
Speaking to our special correspondent Babba ji also went on length to state that after a detailed examination of the
shit evidence the colour of the currency was also found to be black!
Following this wise realization he has advocated the construction of such model toilets in every politician’s and bureaucrat’s house as a radical cure for the black money disease infecting our nation.
“Forget Lokpal! This is the best all-natural therapy for corruption and black money in India, with no side-effects of course”, he further added.
Babba ji also revealed his ambitious plans to advocate newer asanas designed specifically for performing by people on their newly built toilet seats in order to speed up the
waste money evacuation process.