In an unprecedented event, that has sent shock waves among the women in the country but has left the men exultant, a man has filed a petition in Delhi High Court requesting the court to stop wives from asking the question- ‘how much do you love me?’ to their husbands. He has cited trauma that one goes through while thinking of an answer and the torture that follows after answering the question, as reasons for the ban. The man hasn’t revealed his true identity yet but he goes by the name ‘Every Husband’.
The hearing concluded yesterday and the judgement was to be passed today but the Judge who is in charge of the case has not been able to make it to the court today. The reason for his absence is suspected to be a stomach upset caused by the dinner he had last night. A huge crowd gathered outside the high court today in anticipation. Faking News got a chance to ask some of the men from the crowd how this one question has affected their lives.
“When my wife asked me, I tried the formula they show in movies ‘Main tumhare liye chaand-taare bhi tod ke laa sakta hun’ to which she said I was being impractical and asked me to give a realistic reply. Then I reminded her of all the small things that I do for her, like- calling her every now and then just so that I can hear her voice, wrapping my arms around her in a crowd so that she feels safe, cooking for her on Sundays and how I once missed an important meeting and rushed home to open the doors for her because she hadn’t carried the house keys. And her reply was, ‘huh! isme kya special hai ye to sab karte hain’. After that I gave her 10 different answers but she was not satisfied. Finally, I had to eat Karela for dinner and sleep on the couch that night.”, said a man on the condition of anonymity.
“In reply to the question, I opened my arms some 30 inches wide and said ‘this much’, she started making faces. Then I kept on spreading my arms wider. When they came at an angle of 270 degrees to each other her face started becoming normal. That made me hopeful of seeing a smile on her face and I kept on stretching my arms further until I pulled a muscle on the left side and tore another one on the right. It was only after 3 days and a successful surgery that I was able to move my hands.”, said another victim on same conditions.
Another man said, “Boss and wife are the two species that can never be happy. Listening to and not being able to do anything about- ‘You don’t do enough’ in office, and, ‘You dun love me enough’ at home, is what we all sign up for inadvertently when we get a job and a girl respectively.
Another man said, “‘Tum mujhse kitna pyaar karte ho, main moti to nahi lag rahi, khana acha bana hai na’ – these are her trump cards. Even in a situation where she is guilty and the husband is angry, she can turn the tables on him by playing them.”
“The question, combined with the look she gives me, has started affecting my psychology. Now she can, at her will, lead me into believing that I don’t love her too much and that I should do more (even after all that I do for her).”, he continued.
As the movement gained momentum, the National commission for women came forward in its protest. “It is by law that a woman can throw these questions to her husband at a time of her choice and can punish him in a way that pleases her if she is not satisfied with the answer.”, said their spokesperson. When we asked about the law, she said, “Such laws are implied and not stated. This practice has now been in use for centuries, long before the IPC was drafted. Remember how Shah Jahaan showed his love for Mumtaz Mahal when she asked him the same question. We don’t need a fancy answer, even an act as small as that can please your wife.”
Yesterday when we talked to the judge, he found himself in the same position as was Mahabharata’s Bhishma Pitamah. “I can see all that’s happening around me is wrong, I have the power to change it but due to some strange oath that I took decades ago (referring to his wedding vows), I feel helpless.” he said and left hurriedly.
**Breaking News** Moments ago the judge sent the verdict via his wife’s twitter account in which he has dismissed the plea altogether and has warned the petitioner not to waste court’s precious time. He has also urged him and all other husbands to strive to find an answer that will be acceptable to their wives and until they find it, they should just give into their wives’ demands and keep them happy.