Monday, 23rd April, 2018

Man confuses socialite with socialist

04, Feb 2014 By Tanuj Khosla

Jaipur: Manik Ram Chaurasia was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. God gave him everything – a rich pot-bellied father, an even fatter mollycoddling mother and no siblings. Consequently he had undivided access to both their affection and wealth.

Man depressed after realizing his mistake.
Man depressed after realizing his mistake.

The only thing missing in his life was no, not a girlfriend, he never wanted to have one as mumma and pappa would get him married in one or two years, but a circle of friends. He tried his best to make them but in twenty years of his existence he had only four people who would chose to hang out with him once in a while, like say once in two years.

Having had enough, Manik decided to do something about it. He hired Gropers & Sons, the top PR agency from Mumbai to help him solve the problem. In return for the 5 lacs rupees the Managing Director of the agency charged him, he gave Manik two things – his visiting card and an advice to be more social.

That was it. Gropers and Sons was the Boston Consulting Group (BCG) of PR. Its recommendation was gospel. From that day he vowed to become the most social person in Jaipur and gradually expand his social circle to other cities. And what is such a social person called – ‘socialist’, what else concluded the twice 9th class failed double chinned stud. He vowed to become the biggest socialist in the country.

Since then his has gone about introducing himself by saying “Hi, my name is Manik. I am a socialist.”

It has been over a year now but unfortunately for him, his social circle hasn’t increased. In fact some of his NRI friends who are based in the US have been avoiding him ever since they heard his new introduction. What perplexes him till date though is the number of ‘likes’ he received from CPI-M members when he updated his profession as a ‘socialist’ on Facebook.

Some members of the party‘s local chapter have even sent him a Facebook ‘friend request’. Also he can’t understand why the interns in his office are asking for the same salary that he gives to the CEO of his company.

Faking News caught up with Tanuj Khosla, its in-house expert on such issues. “The mistake made by Manik is not uncommon at all.” said Tanuj while putting orange jam on his hyderbadi biryani, “I know somebody who got confused between an antidote and an anecdote. Had he not done so, his father would have still been alive today. My own cousin got into the habit of drugs and used to call himself a druggist for the longest time. If nothing else, Manik has at least gained friends from CPI-M. He now has people to hang out with.”