New Delhi: Maggi has been in a soup for the past few days in India. Sensing high amount of lead and MSG in its noodles, several states in India had started imposing temporary ban on sale of Maggi noodles.
While there had been much furore from consumers over being suddenly cheated by high amount of lead in Maggi noodles, Maggi’s Internal Expert revealed to us that they had been doing so for a better future of India.
Speaking to Faking News, Maggi’s Internal Expert, Raman Sharma, said, “Indian authorities are targeting our company claiming that our noodle product has more amount of lead and MSG. This has rattled our consumer base and I have seen news visuals of our product being burnt in streets. This is depressing and has hit out brand value a lot, while we had been striving to make Indian youth nuclear-resistive.”
That last sentence was dropped like a nuclear bomb from Iran. When we persisted to make him answer, he replied, “If you had seen ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skull’ movie, you would had seen the lead character finding refuge in a lead coated refrigerator while a nuclear blast takes place. He comes out unscathed even with a nuclear bomb blast in vicinity because of lead. It is proven in science that lead can prevent any kind of radiation entering your body and that includes dangerous ones like nuclear radiation. Even nuclear reactors are coated with lead. Our R&D department wanted our consumers not to be healthy under normal circumstances alone, but also under unfavorable conditions. We were baffled by the question that ‘What if a nuclear bomb attacks India and our consumer base gets affected by it?'”
“It was then we decided to add more quantities of lead in our noodles, because our noodles are being used by millions of Indians and by having more lead in each cup, they will soon become like that refrigerator where Indiana Jones takes refuge in that movie. In case, Pakistan or China drops nuclear bombs in India, Indians can escape from the lethal nuclear radiations due to their body becoming a lead shield because of continuous intake of Maggi noodles. Also, with Maggi noodles stacked in all homes, structural radiation damages will also be less. We were keeping our brand at stake to help Indians survive nuclear attacks. And you guys ban us. This is depressing,” concluded Raman Sharma with tears in his eyes.