In a surprise change from the norm, a couple was found discussing about politics, terrorism, Islamic Jehad and the like in the middle of its usual ‘love chats’ between midnight to dawn, like most of the youngsters residing in college hostels or call centres. This shocking revelation came from the Central Phone Tapping agency, a subsidiary of the CBI, which allegedly hooks onto our phone conversations at their own whims and mercies, all for ‘national security’.
The employee, lovingly called ‘Snoop’ Dogg by most of his colleagues for his adeptness in tapping ‘important’ conversations, was logged onto his server by the usual 10 PM-7AM shift, expecting the usual sugar coated conversations involving love, marriage etc, for his general pastime, when his ears did a double take on hearing the words ‘Lokpal’ and ‘Modi’ uttered by the guy presumably to his girlfriend, both whose names he could infer only as ‘Babu’. Stunned by the sudden drift from the usual course of discussion, he had to jam the headphone fiercely to confirm his suspicions, to make sure they were not miss spelt or had any other coded double meaning between them.
“Sipping my midnight coffee, I presumed they were discussing about dil and its pains. I increased the volume in my headphone to get an insight into their love-life and you can imagine my surprise on hearing the male ‘Babu’ telling agitatedly to her about the Lokpal ‘bill’ and its gains! He was telling her about the government’s inefficiency, rising levels of corruption, and to add to my shock, even the female ‘Babu’ had her own points to add!” , revealed Mr. Dogg. “In a heavily serious voice, she even extended the topic to terrorists and increasing inefficiency in policing” he said with eyes wide open.
“For a while, I guessed I’d made a mistake and had tapped on a conversation between Rajnath Singh and Uma Bharti, but then realized it wasn’t likely as he was busy berating Yedyurappa to Advaniji on another phone as being attended to , by my colleague.” He was even forced to consider the option of the couple being RSS members, but then, his fears were assuaged when the couple decided to move out of India “for the sake of their future kids”.
Mr. Dogg blames the 24-hr media presence to this malaise. “These news channels add fire to every news item and these poor lovers even lose track of the important things and get diverted to issues non-essential to them”. His frustration also stemmed from the fact that he was looking forward to tips from the all-night conversation on impressive dialogues to use while flirting with the new attractive intern in the office.
“All my hopes were of wooing her when I started listening to India-Pakistan-US relations” for about an hour, which I already do, during my morning shift!” rued Mr. Dogg. “I seriously implore the government to do something in this regard. The younger generation is our future and if they spent their sleepless nights discussing things not providing them satisfaction, they will end up being non-productive even during working hours”.
Our Faking News reporter couldn’t get to talk to the ‘Babu’ concerned, due to Mr. Dogg refusing to provide his no. citing ‘security reasons’. But the usual reaction of youngsters being talked to was of outrage. “WTF man!” exclaimed Anindya, while listening to new romantic songs on his I-pod to be sung to his girlfriend (lovingly called ‘Shona’ by him ) during the night. “They would’ve been looking forward to the night, probably to discuss their future kids’ names and see, what has this ‘system’ led them to discussing.
I totally share their grief and as a measure, I have stopped watching news channels and tune only to SuperStudd on UTV Bindass. Dude, that Patel guy really has helped me a lot!” finished a visibly pleased Anindya.