A local university IIPD, Institute of Implied Phoney Degrees (recognized by AICTE: Actually International Clandestine Technical Education), today declared a new course to begin from the academic session in 2015. The course entitled Masters of Covert – Qualifications (MOC-Q) (pron: Mock-yoo) will especially pander to high school graduates who want to pursue higher studies but cannot.
The key attraction of this course is that it does not have any upper limit to the age of the candidates. So anyone with the desire to fill the gap in their CV could enroll themselves for the course and without going through the hassle of attending lectures and submitting assignments, or writing exams could get a degree recognized by any college of their choice in any course at their discretion. The course will start enrollment for its first batch of students this year with applications beginning next week.
While speaking to our correspondent the Dean of IIPD, Ram Rahimji Bhuvan Singh said, “We are very excited to announce the course which will commence this year. The university’s education advisory board and the board of trustees have all agreed to the start of the course after witnessing the great demand for fake degrees which has taken the country by storm. Though, there was a scope to start this degree earlier, but the fake degrees presented earlier were mostly of foreign universities, given the Indian love for anything ‘Phoren’. But, with the recent events unfurling in the country, we at IIPD believe that the time is ripe for a course as this in India. Our course streamlines and simplifies the process of getting a degree in any course from any university. The students are given complete freedom to chose any course of their choice, and do not have the pressure of attending lectures or submitting assignments.”
According to Mr. Singh, these ‘old –school’ practices annihilates a students’ inherent ability to think out-of-the-box and by not conducting routine examinations, they are freeing students of valuable time to develop valuable contacts and enter into political associations. Mr. Singh, who himself holds a Masters Degree in Electrocuted Engineering from Cambridge College (Ranchi) candidly adds, “Aur vaise bhi, kaalej mein jo padha woh yaad thore rahta hai!” (You do not remember anything you study in college.)
When our over-enthusiastic correspondent asked Mr. Singh how will he furnish the degrees to students from any university in any course, he gleefully said, “I have had many fruitful experiences in my life. One of these experiences came when I was booked for forgery and sent to prison. I developed many contacts in those two years,” he adds with a hint of nostalgia, “It was a time well served. “ He further said, “I cannot reveal the contacts, as the Business is very competitive these days, but they can be trusted with the job of fetching degrees from any university in India the candidate chooses. We also guarantee complete secrecy and give the candidate a Trivia-Book which contains information about the university granting the degree, in case a overtly-nosy fellow feels the need to privy into the degree too much”
This announcement has been received with tremendous joy, especially among some factions of political parties. Many have called up the Dean, to express their gratitude.