Sunday, 18th March, 2018

Large number of starvation cases reported among IT professionals and engineering students after Maggi ban

05, Jun 2015 By psych0bar0n

New Delhi. There has been an alarming increase in the number of starvation cases in IT employees and engineering students, after many states banned Maggi because of high lead content.

The worst affected city has been Bangalore with hundreds of IT employees starving almost to death during night shifts after their staple food, Maggi was banned.

“I have not had any solid food in the last week ” wailed Murali Shankaran, who has been working in a night shift schedule ever since he landed an IT job via campus placement 5 years ago, and has eaten only Maggi ever since. Another IT employee Mahima complained “The kind of appraisals my company gives me, Maggi is the only food I can afford to buy and now the government has banned even that”.

People can't eat anything else now
People can’t eat anything else now

Equally affected have been engineering college hostel students with many being admitted to hospitals across the country with symptoms of malnutrition. IIT Nakpur dean Nudal Chand Jain told Faking News that many hostel students have run away home while the remaining ones are begging for at least raw Vermicelli.

Hospital psychiatry wards have reported cases of students and IT employees suffering from withdrawal symptoms after a large number of Maggi addicts were deprived of their daily lead high. Some are in such a bad state that they become violent by just seeing Lasith Malinga’s hair while others get excited on hearing Mr Miyagi’s name while watching the Karate Kid movie.

Dieticians have declared that most IT employees have evolved so much over the last 10 years by eating junk food that their stomach can’t digest anything apart from Maggi. Experts also say that given the extreme workload that IT employees and engineering students handle, they only have 2 minutes to spare for food at mealtimes and thus apart from Maggi, there isn’t much they can eat.

IT engineers and students across the nation have rallied against the ban under the umbrella of an organization aptly named “Better Lead Than Dead”. In a related move, IT major companies have scrapped the designation of ‘Team Lead’ and ‘Project Lead’ after a few  frustrated and hungry employees manhandled their Team Leads because the designation ‘Lead’ reminded them of the Maggi ban.

Meanwhile, youth icon and Maggi fanboy Rahul Gandhi has blamed Chattisgarh CM Raman Singh for the ban saying it is his conspiracy to promote his company product Top Raman. We will bring you more on this later.