PATNA: The RJD chief Lalu Prasad Yadav has announced today in a rally in Saharsa – in what is being said to be a calculated move prior to the 2014 Lok Sabha elections – that his party, Rashtriya Janata Dal, is adopted Buddhism, for all future purposes.
Lalu appeared quite pensive this morning, as if he had been ruminating over something for the whole of previous night, a local journalist said.
I am going to tell you something important today, Lalu told the boisterous crowd: “Old equations – Yadav, Muslim, OBCs – aren’t working anywhere. Now we need to think new: we need to think Buddhism!”
“Buddha Bhagwan came to me in a dream a few nights ago, and bemoaned, in a chaste Bhojpuri, ‘Lalu! Biharis are such effete people — they keep evoking my name all the time, ad nauseam…but no one follows my teachings here anymore!’”
The crowd looked stupefied.
“Buddha adviced me on how – especially in such corrupt times of Nitish, Narendar Modi, Kejriwal – only I can inspire the whole of country by a wholesale adherence to his virtues!” Lalu went on.
“I immediately pleaded, ‘Gautam Bhagwan, only Rabri knows I have always been a fan of your thoughts, right from the beginning; but with earlier assistants like Nitish – now you can see how he has become a BJP chamcha! He had suggested me that BJP wouldn’t let me do it! Bahut bhaari mistek ho gaya humse, sir, it was a huge mistake!’”
“Before Buddha left, he blessed me saying that only a determined Yadav like me can bring back the golden days of Buddhism in Bihar!” thus Lalu concluded his interaction with the Buddha to the crowd.
Lalu also stressed on how Buddhism would lead to a steady improvement in governance and all other walks of life in the state. Later in his speech, he denounced Nitish Kumar as a deceitful fox, a ranga siyaar, who had been fudging the Bihar growth data year after year to buy the best Chief Minister trophies.
When contacted, the RJD spokesperson Ram Kripal Yadav greeted our reporter with the Buddham saranam gachhami hymn, and said that Buddhist pamphlets would soon be distributed all over the state. A befuddled Chief Minister Nitish Kumar, on the other hand, said that hibernation had made Lalu mental, sathiya gaye hain.
“Turning to Buddhism sounds like an innovative move for the RJD. But a lot of it depends on how the upper castes and Muslims respond to it!” a leading Political Scientist in Patna was quoted as saying.