Leading actor and future, sorry evergreen Superstar of Bollywood KRK is infuriated over the average Indian’s remarks that one cannot get anything in 12 rupees.
We tried to acquire his opinions therefore. After about 4500 calls and persistent requests, Kamaal R Khan agreed to speak to our reporter taking time off his busy schedule which included a manicure at Ulhasnagar, a head massage at Bhandup, waxing at Titwala and a movie review for a supposed A grade film called ‘Choli mein atom bomb’. KRK was seen lashing out on our reporter even though we took a formal appointment. Even after apologizing, he was in no mood to give his opinions. Somehow after two hajmola candies and a bar of snickers, he agreed.
Our reporter entered his vanity van. There was a photo frame of Asin which read ‘KISS TO THE ONLY YOU ACTOR’ and a plethora of bollywood movie posters mainly Salman Khan movies. It was a dimly lit room with some ‘Lagabelu lipistick’ song in the backdrop. There was a scotch bottle which looked like Jack Daniels but actually was some brand called Jagan Denaels. He was plopped comfortably on a sofa. He said he was extremely angry at people for lashing out on Raj Babbar and that he would kick anything and anyone if our reporter tested his patience on this topic. He said he had an appointment with a hairstylist at Karjat and advised our reporter to be quick thus.
Excerpts from the interview:
-KRK staunchly believes that in today’s times, the value of twelve rupees hold great value because you get six 2 rupees people in twelve rupees.
-He further added that 105% of Indians are stupid to overrule Raj Babbar’s assertions. He says 15% after 90% is Justice Katju.
-He proclaims that 12 rupees is what he gets for a movie review and that anyone insults the value of 12 rupees, he/she will be sued.
-KRK’s catchphrase Kiss to Asin and Kick to all was coined at 12 AM when he was high on country liquor. It holds special meaning in his life. KRK claims and we quote ‘Anyone who is the insult to my 12 rupees and 12 am, I will keeeeeeck him’.
-He had told to keep this information classified but our reporter could not help but spitting it out. KRK says you can watch porn flicks in dingy shady theatres for 12 rupees in Darbhanga. He further supplemented his assertion saying how Porn was instrumental in his youth life. At that time, he could watch 12 flicks in 12 rupees. He nearly became teary eyed.
– He says you can also have a meal at rs.5 like Rashid Masood said. According to KRK’s prudent theory, one can have 2 Rashid Masood meals and one 2 rupees people in 12 rupees
He said he loved our reporter’s charm and that he would give him a signing amount of 12 rupees with shagun ka ek rupaiyya for his upcoming film Deshdrohiyon ka Deshdrohi. Our reporter nearly cried. He was elated. KRK concluded by saying Kiss to Asin and Kick to all 2 rupees people.