Thiruvananthapuram. To combat the prohibition of alcohol in Kerala, the drinkers from the state have challenged the people behind the prohibition to beat them in the beer bucket challenge.
“We have got enough manpower and the will to do this challenge,” said one of the organizers. “The method is simple. We have to pour a bucket of cold beer from the top but instead of pouring it on our heads, we should pour it directly into the mouth.”
He also went onto say that the person who completes the entire bucket of beer without wasting or spilling the drink will be qualified to make decisions about the prohibition. When informed by our reporter that the original “ice bucket challenge” is actually not a competition between individuals, he said that the actual motive of this challenge is a valid one hence it requires a competition to make it successful.
“Whatever we spend to buy the beer goes directly to the government so that it could help in distributing it amongst various departments to build better infrastructure and facilities throughout the state. Alcohol provides approximately 7000 crores yearly after tax to the Kerala state government only. The government should tell us what they do with the 7000 crores first,” he continued, “If they initiate prohibition, almost all the money will go to the black markets because we obviously won’t stop drinking. The motive of the beer bucket challenge is to increase this awareness.”
The gates of the venue where the event was supposed to initiate were patrolled by divorce lawyers and auto insurance agents.
“This is the place to be!” quipped a divorce lawyer, “Almost 80% of the divorces that happen in Kerala is due to alcoholism so we are just waiting for people to come outside so that we can start advising them on anything they might require for divorce.”
However, after the beer bucket challenge started off, fights started occurring within five minutes due to the rule that only one full bucket of beer should be used per person at one time.
“This is ridiculous! I did not even get to drink at least two buckets,” said an angry drinker. “This is not a fair competition at all!”
Another problem faced by the drinkers was since the beer bucket challenge is also based on nominating your friends to do the same, none of the Keralites nominated others since they refused to share the minimal available amount of beer.
“Already due to initial prohibition we have less amount of beer. Now if I nominate others then who will give me the next bucket of beer?” asked a worried participant
Due to the increasing problems of the beer bucket challenge, it has currently been banned by the police and anyone found doing the challenge would be strictly punished by getting thrown into a torture room full of empty beer bottles for a day
After the failure of the beer bucket challenge, Kerala drinkers have planned to emulate the famous La Tomatino festival utilizing tomato filled tequilas in another desperate attempt to increase anti-prohibition awareness.