Friday, 15th December, 2017

Karnataka Government Sanctions 2 Billion for Research

24, Jun 2012 By aadisriram

Following the insane rule put forth by the Karnataka government recently banning tinted windows for vehicles all has not been well for Karnataka. Already submerged in political chaos the government has now come out with a new proposal, something that sounds even more insane than their No tint on windows rule.

Following a post on Facebook that showed how robbers perform crimes while wearing helmets, the bright minds who control the traffic have decided to ban opaque helmets.

When questioned as to whether this meant that Helmets were no longer compulsory, the traffic commissioner instantly responded with a NO. This sparked off quite a conversation at the press meet scheduled by him under the 12th tree at Cubbon Park. The significance of the 12th tree stems from the fact that, the guy who sells soda under that tree is actually the cousin brother of the chief ministers wife’s uncle’s 2nd daughter in law’s mother’s brother. There was some sort of dealing between the soda vendor and the officer, who seemed to have got his soda for free. Coming back to the issue in hand, the secondary office assistant of the commissioner finally explained to him that there was no such helmet in place as of now which was transparent. The commissioner was quick to say that further details would be announced a few hours later after having a discussion with the chief minister.

After about 4 hours of meeting commencement a very happy commissioner walked out of Town Hall and seemingly burping every 25 seconds, primarily attributed to the cheap samosas given to him during the meeting. He announced that the state cabinet had cleared a new research proposal for making helmets that were seemingly inspired by the Crystal Skull shown in the last installment of the famous Indiana Jones series, at a staggering 2 Billion INR. What made this worse was that every motorist would now have to pay an additional 4597.89 INR for every vehicle he owns.

This lead to public outrage among the people in the age group of 30+, as they know all the money they pay would never reach them with any use, given the fact that the average time of execution of any project in Karnataka is at least 15 years and the current owners would no longer be able to ride backs so many years down the line. The younger generation on the other hand is happy about this as they will have a super cool helmet.

The surprising and most encouraging part of this debacle by the government stems from the fact that two 14 year olds have actually secured funding for a startup they have conceived from the new Helmet plan put forth by the governement. They have made a design document of a facebook integration in the helmet where one would be able to view the FB wall and profile of the person in front of him on his helmet itself. This would be a dynamic screen and they hope to integrate with Twitter, Instagram and other social networking sites. Mark Zuckerberg has offered these two bright minds a job at the Palo Alto office as soon as they turn 21 post their degree.

The chief minister hopes that his new stunt would help him from resisting the resignation pressure being applied on him. The only piece of cake that the common man can take from this is that, the chief minister understands English and actually watches classy movies.