Thursday, 22nd February, 2018

Justice Katju to replace “t” in surname with “a” to appeal to wealthy foodie followers

30, Apr 2015 By Pagla Ghoda

New Delhi: Well known legal celebrity and national commentator Justice Markandey Katju has announced that he would be going in for a “surname” change in order to attract more fan following from the foodies among the population. He plans to replace the “t” in his surname with “a” to make it Kaaju (Cashew), so that mere mention of the name induces a positive motivation towards him in the foodies of the country. And that is not all, Kaaju being an expensive “royal” dry-fruit will further concretize his already strong brand-name.

Talking to media outside Press Council of India premises he said:

Justice Katju
Katju explaining things only he can understand

“I have always loved to connect with more and more people. And I believe you cannot connect to all type of people at once, hence I chose to target a specific group in the country, i.e. foodies. And then the challenge was how to get their attention. Having dinner a few days back with one of my old friends I was struck with this idea. Although the restaurant menu had 55 paneer items, my friend chose Paneer Kaaju-wala at the first instance. When I asked him why he said it has Kaaju gravy, must be rich and delicious.

Later, on my flight back to Minnesota, I saw high quality roasted cashews being served to Business Class passengers, whereas we economy class ones only got roasted peanuts. On further inquiry I came to know that First Class passengers were served cashews specifically hand-crafted by chosen African artisans. You cannot just fail to notice the sense of royalty, wealth and ecclesiastic fulfillment associated with Kaaju. I decided there and then to go for this name change thing. I hope the whole nation would like it.”

On being asked why he is targeting the foodies Justice Kaaju provided further details:

“I had my team of analysts study number of increased cases of diabetes and heart disease in India and those numbers are just alarming. Increased consumption of heavy, oily, rich food is a direct reason behind this possible epidemic. In light of these stats we can safely say that percentage of foodies in the country is swelling even faster than their bellies. Bigger a particular demographic group more sense it makes to target them, for example how much Kaaju you should add to a shahi paneer gravy or a mutton biryani is direct proportional to how many people are going to consume these foods.” – Justice Kaaju explained.

While it is not yet clear by when will Justice Kaaju officially change his name, his Twitter and Facebook accounts may start reflecting the changed nomenclature soon. Sources are also indicating that taking cue from Justice Kaaju a veteran journalist may replace “kha” in her name with “fi” to positively motivate the foodie viewers.