Monday, 25th September, 2017

JNU Professor Nivedita Menon calls Budget 2017 communal for no Jizya tax

07, Feb 2017 By Shivam Bahuguna

After attracting controversy through her various lectures in, allegedly having made repeated claims that India is illegally occupying Kashmir, that Hinduism is the most violent society in the universe, controversial JNU Professor Nivedita Menon has now criticized the Union Budget 2017, calling it lacking in secular provisions.

“When the Goods and Services Tax bill was passed last year, there was a tremendous hope”, said Prof. Menon, “But seeing this Budget, we are tremendously disappointed at how communal it is.” Upon being asked further by our FN reporter, Ms. Mennon very eagerly emphasized on the Budget’s communal nature.

Professor Nivedita Menon, seen here trying to argue why Zaira Wasim deserves to be stoned to death for betraying the Azaadi movement
Professor Nivedita Menon, seen here trying to argue why Zaira Wasim deserves to be stoned to death for betraying the Azaadi movement

“There was no 2% jizya tax on Hindus. This is a clear indication that this government is against Muslims, who are the biggest subaltern victims in the ever-burgeoning bourgeois Brahmanical imperialism”, she parroted.

After giving out more jargon-laden explanations for why this Budget is wrong, with some of the words her own invention, Ms. Mennon further emphasized on how great rulers in Indian history like Aurangzeb had helped in streamlining both government expenditure, and kept Hindu violence in control by simply wiping them off existence through their syncretic policies.

“As a sharia-compliant feminist who values Triple Talaq,” said Ms. Menon, “this Budget is a Sanghi attack on us. Without jizya tax, how can Muslims ever feel safe in India?”

On being asked on the actual merits and demerits of the Budget, Ms. Menon first tried to call the reporter an Imperialist Sanghi Ambani agent. Upon being pressed further for actual arguments instead of labeling people, Ms. Mennon then tried to argue that this Budget shouldn’t exist because India is an artificial entity, occupied by an evil Brahmanical army summoned from the nether realm through a Yagna.

Faking News regrets to inform that her response triggered in our reporter a strong urge to vomit that caused her a mild heart-attack. Our reporter is now admitted in AIIMS and recovering, after being treated by the same team of doctors who had performed a surgery on Hurriyat leader Syed Ali Shah Geelani.