Pune: Management of Zom-B IT company was in a state of shock when it found out that one of its employees was romancing laptop provided to him for work.
Duke Sharma (name changed) was the employee reported by one of his colleagues for apparent misbehavior in one of the boardrooms.
“It was like a normal day for me. I got up late, prepared my random stuff and code for presentation and started moving towards one of the boardrooms in Zom-B,” Dilip Java, who was eye witness to the incident was quoted saying.
“At first it looked like any other IT employee struggling initially while working on his laptop. But this guy was frustrated initially and started pleading later on to the device. When I interrupted by saying it is just a machine, he got violent and threatened to hit me, if I ever called his girlfriend (Laptop) a machine.”
The incident was reported to senior management and soon ran the risk of getting escalated into a crisis. There were no company policies made prior to this incident for handling such instances.
“This is first time that we have encountered such a incident,” HR head was quoted saying. “My employees call it harassment, whereas Duke calls his relationship with Laptop as consensual. I myself felt like Dad (owner) of the laptop, but then I realized, even I am getting mentally unstable like Duke.”
Psychiatrist have called it a rare medical condition that occurs in humans when they spend so much time with gadgets that they believe them to be animated entities and start treating them like one.
On detailed investigation, by our reporter, it was found that Duke was in relation with his laptop from past 4 years. “He would simply refuse to change his laptop, The RAM of the device is only 256 KB, Memory is 2 GB and processor is so slow and it has an OS version installed from Microsoft, which even Bill gates doesn’t rememeber,” room-mate of Duke quoted.
“Once when its hard drive crashed, Duke sobbed uncontrollably. He kept on saying “Mein Tumhe kuch nai hone Dunga,” while IT technician was repairing the laptop. Ocassionally, on weekends, he would go out with laptop in his bag. At first we thought he is working overtime, but were surprised to realize, Duke was actually going out on a date with it.”
Duke had even planned to propose his girlfriend (laptop) on Effiel tower, once he will be posted at the client side in France, until the management decided to intervene and asked him to surrender his asset. He was so demoralized that he resorted to drinking and is believed to have fled away with his laptop.
Management has reported him absconding and sent him an email, to withheld his dues, to which they received an immediate reply from Duke stating “No amount of money can separate him from his love, Jab pyar kiya toh Darna kya”.