Tuesday, 17th October, 2017

Interview with Rahul Gandhi

26, Feb 2013 By prajjwal

After becoming the VP of the congress party, A reporter from Faking News took the interview of Rahul Gandhi. He agreed for a 15 minutes interview, while is mother was not at home. He said he can’t give a longer interview as he will be late to play Darkroom in their house with his friends…

Here is the discussion our reporter had with him!

At the very beginning he said it’s a shame that it’s been a while he has become VP of Congress but appearing for his first interview now. Actually he was quite busy declining offers from other media houses but FakingNews was one for which he couldn’t say no.

Reporter: So, Mr Gandhi, the VP of the Congress party. Congratulations and how do you feel after getting the new post?

RG: Thank you, but to be honest, I really feel quite tensed. The next elections are mere 15 months away and if congress wins, I have to take the burden of another promotion. If we lose then also I will be promoted to the party’s President’s role. It’s so tough for me you see, I was born just to get promotions and promotions. And what is worse, I will have no other positions to get promoted after 2014.

Reporter: That’s a shame… so what do you think, what made you the VP?

RG: Well of course my success!! I was responsible for winning 4 seats in Bihar, then I increased the tally by 6 in UP. If this is not success, then what else is??. If my rival from the other national party can only manage to lessen his tally from 121 to 117 to 115 and can still dream to be the PM, then I have increased the numbers. You see, the hard work has paid off!

Reporter: But your critics say that it’s the family name that gave you the post….

RG: If you consider the 1.2 billion Indians as one family, then anybody selected from that 1.2 billion would have been ridiculed the same way… The opposition would have shouted that congress selects the top post within a family. We at Congress, define family in such a way that any Indian (natural or naturalised) from that family can assume the post. We will keep this system till the party lasts. And as I said in your last question, I got this post as a prize of my success…

Reporter: Good, that’s an excellent logic. So if you are so with words, why don’t you speak in the parliament or hold press conferences?

RG: The president my party has told me not to do so. You know she is my boss, not only inside the house but in office as well. So I can’t mess up with my boss. Now what I guess the reason, she doesn’t want me to speak is our family script writer would go jobless. Already the nation’s economy is in a mess, so we don’t want to add to it.

Reporter: Your family is truly patriotic. But you have earned a name as a dumb politician. Don’t you think it would work against you?

RG: No No No… that won’t be a problem. The present PM is already training me on this, both theoretically and practically. He is showing me how to be the top administrator without opening mouth. And it’s a big fun learning the process, it’s like a game!! I am always so excited when I play this game with him. It’s like something I use to play while at school… Ohhh. You made me so nostalgic…

Reporter: So in the next election, what would you say to woo the voters?

RG: The same thing, I did in Bihar and UP. Trying to show that I am just one of them. I wore a tilak, while campaigning in UP, wore a turban while in Punjab, wore a skullcap while campaigning at Muslim dominated areas and so on… Infact if I go to any girls college I don’t even mind wearing a Ghagra-Choli…

Reporter: Are you serious? And do you think people will be convinced by this after price rise, cylinder-cap and so many scandals faced by your party…

RG: Yes, that’s a very good question. But people are fed up with the communal politics done by the other political parties, other than the congress of course. So when I go and give them an impression that I am one of you and not with any people from other castes, religion or linguistic then votes would be poured in our favour.

Reporter: But what about development and reviving the economy? The nation is dying to get something better…

RG: Yes yes… we will bring in investment, develop roads, create employment, give security to the women, minimize crime etc. the list is endless… As I said I’ll bring change… Now don’t ask me how… I won’t tell you that. You will go and tell it to the other political parties and he will steal my ideas… So no way… For your information, I am an expert playing the business-monopoly game right from my childhood. And even now I defeat my nephew and niece in every game. So it’s easy for me…

Reporter: As you wish sir. And the last question, how optimistic you are about winning the next election?

RG: Well, for me whatever the outcome is, I’ll get a promotion. That’s the big point to be noted.

Reporter: And anything you want to say to the citizens of this country?

RG: Hmmmmmmmm Hmmmmmmmmmmmm Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Oh dear!!!!!!! Mummy is coming back, if she sees that I am talking to a reporter she will beat me hard…. Gooooo!!! Goo!! Go!