A 28 year old married man, Rahul Bansal (name changed), from Rajasthan today talked to Faking News reporter about his married life. Do read the interview, it has some really useful tips and advice for all the unmarried ones who are dying to get married:
Reporter: So how is your married life? Mr. Bansal: First of all, “married life” is an oxymoron.
Reporter: But people say marriages are made in heaven? Mr. Bansal: Only if heaven is full of Chinese people.
Reporter: So yours was an arranged marriage, how was it? Mr. Bansal: Arrange marriage for a man is like Eid for a goat. They treat him like a prince, feed him with great foods, and dress him with bright colors and then…
Reporter: Hmm, so when did you realize that married life is dangerous? Mr. Bansal: I knew it from day one, marriage is danger, that’s why the bride always wears RED.
Reporter: I’ve heard that arranged marriages last longer that the love ones? Is it true? Mr. Bansal: Love marriages, hahaha, mostly it goes like this: We are made for each other. We are mad for each other. We are maid for each other.
Reporter: But still, there has to be something good about marriage, for example, Kids? Everybody loves them, no? Mr. Bansal: Maybe yes, but mark my words, when a man says “I like kids” always understand he is talking about the “process”.
Reporter: If it is that bad then how married people pass their time? Mr. Bansal: They watch a lot of TV. Wife watches “Punar-Vivah” and husband wants it for real.
Reporter: So, why you guys don’t do any fun things, like playing games together? Mr. Bansal: Yes we do. Me and my wife, we are playing a game called “You to be blamed”, very close game, right now she is leading by 1876 – 1.
Reporter: Okay, tell us, what kind of conversations you guys make while you’re free? Mr. Bansal: She asks a lot of questions, every wife does, and as we start answering their questions, they start questioning our answers.
Reporter: So any tips you wanna share? Mr. Bansal: Yep, quite a few: (A). Don’t waste your energy trying to make her laugh, she’ll treat you like a clown anyway. (B). Never reply to your wife’s “I love you” text with an OKAY. (C). Remember, a perfect husband is one who apologies every time his wife makes a mistake. (D). And yes, take you wife on holidays to different places of the world, that will increase chances of her being lost.
Reporter: Last question, according to you, as you seems well experienced, what is the secret of a successful marriage? Mr. Bansal: There is a reason it is called “Secret”, nobody knows it.