Wednesday, 21st March, 2018

Intelligent talking Parrot’s application for Professional Entrance Exams rejected

16, May 2015 By dtrancemaniac

Two weeks after Kachir Gaw was issued an admit card for Professional Entrance Examinations, an application (for another similar exam) of an intelligent parrot named Mitthu has been rejected by the Kashmir Board of Professional Entrance Examinations (BOPEE). The candidate has been barred from applying any further applications for any such exam. This entire incident had left the already agitated Mitthu in a state of trauma after the exam officials kept pestering him for his application.

The Agitated Parrot

“Right from the beginning of our marital life, my husband was always against having a baby because of his low-income engineering job. After a few years of our marriage, I somehow convinced him to at least allow me to buy a baby parrot because the expenses in raising my dear Mitthu would be very low. We didn’t buy Mitthu a cage, but instead we gave him his own room with all the content our real child would have had”, told Mrs. Singh to our Faking News reporter. Tears ran down when she called herself to be the mother of her only child.

“Within a year after Mitthu’s arrival at home, he developed his elementary school knowledge, thanks to my husband’s textbooks of KG classes. And in another 2 years, Mitthu mugged up every text-book up to 12th class. When I brought a 12th class Maths question paper from my neighbor’s son, Mitthu scored higher than the actual highest score! He has also developed perfect command in both English and Hindi”, continued Mrs. Singh.

“When I read the news that a cow named Kachir Gaw mysteriously got an admit card to appear for the Professional Entrance Examinations, I exclaimed ‘HOLY COW!’, and it suddenly triggered hopes of getting a professional degree for my only child. A child with better education meant better jobs. Better jobs meant better income, and therefore a better life in overall. But BOPEE has broken those beautiful dreams into splintered shards”, lamented Mrs. Singh.

“I was initially jealous to see Mitthu write in beautiful cursive handwriting using the movement of his beak dipped in ink. But then I realized that he was a prodigy! He was flawlessly able to tell the table of the number 9 in just a few months since his arrival, which I am not able to tell properly even now! No sooner than later, I dug out all my school text-books which I had dumped in some corner of the house after my miserable school life and I gave them all to him. It was amazing to see Mitthu learn with such great zeal. But with BOPEE rejecting his application for the Entrance Exam, I feel heartbroken as a father”, said Mr. Singh along with shedding some teardrops.

The traumatized Mitthu was extremely rude to our reporter who tried to ask him a couple of questions. Our reporter also tried to pacify Mitthu by sweetly calling his name a couple of times. But due to his unsound mental conditions, Mitthu finally lost his cool and annoyingly replied, “Mitthu? Who Mitthu? I’m Mutthu! Maaru kya? Chal bhaag!” Mr. Singh requested our reporter to ignore the intelligent parakeet’s words and simply empathize on the then present situation.

When asked to BOPEE about the matter, they clarified that the employee who had entered the details of Kachir Gaw was a Hinduist. And according to him, disallowing a holy animal to appear for the exams did not seem right. But this time when he received Mitthu’s form, he made the point that no Hindu activist would badmouth him because Parrot’s are not considered holy anywhere in the country. Plus, he said that copies of Mitthu’s 10th and 12th marksheets were also not attached with the form. Therefore it was best to reject the entire application. Our HRD minister Smriti Irani said she would look into the matter after PM Narendra Modi will switch-off his current flight-mode.

An AAP activist has planned for a Dharna outside BOPEE office in demand of serving justice to Mitthu. “The cow didn’t even appear for the exams! GAAY hai waise bhi. We want justice!”

Talking away from Women Empowerment, Congress Vice President Rahul Gandhi issued a statement on this matter saying, “this entire incident is a disgrace to the Indian education system as this has killed a dream, the dream of a talented bird, and his family! We could have been the first country in the world to have a parrot with a professional degree.”

Immediately after the statement, KRK tweeted in astonishment, “@RahulGandhi2020 thank you for talking something sensible”, appreciating Rahul Gandhi’s words.