After Yuvraj’s first good performance in IPL 2015, Indian govt. asked DD’s manager about the reason behind this impossible transformation. DD’s manager replied, “We took Yuvraj inside a dark room and abused him which made him furious and ashamed of himself and that anger came out like volcano and his performance improved.” Seeing this, Indian Govt. has decided to allow use of abusive words during business which will help improve the efficiency of lazy private employees and workaholic public employees.
Minutes after the news was confirmed, speaker of legislative assembly resigned from his job. Harendra Modi tweeted, “Achche din aa gaye. From today, new name of Indian National Congress is “Indian National Ch***yas”.” R.Gandhi in no time tweeted back, “New name of Bhartiya Janta Party is “Bhartiya J**nd Party”.” Surprised with R.Gandhi’s reply, our reporter asked him where has he learnt this abusive language from, he replied, “Mai kabhi batlata nahin, par gaaliyon se darta hoon mai maa. Mujhe sab gaaliyan sikha, meri maa.”
With this news out, frustrated lovers who faced rejections from their GF’s took a sigh of relief as now they will now be saved from showing their creativity behind public toilet doors or behind public transport seats. As per our sources, “Roadies” is on the verge of becoming national show and “Bhaag D.K.Bose” to be national song for Indian television. Kanurag Kashyap’s new movie to be titled as “Ye kya ch****apa hai?” and Pishal Bhardwaj’s sequal to kaminey as (sorry name deleted by our editor).
Our reporter asked an employee of TCS who was fed up of following up the client everyday with salutation “Dear sir”, said, “its good move by the Govt. to allow abusive words in business language as now instead of using “Dear sir”, I will use “Ch***ya sir”. This will surely help to wake the client up and we will be able to complete our work on time.”
Transgenders expressed their gratitude towards Indian Govt. as now their hindi translation (which many people used to abuse someone) will be a business word and they will not be discriminated. INDDC’s (Indian national dog and donkey committee) chariman Tommy singh and Gadha Prasad said that finally with this move, amongst other animals these two innocent animals have finally got their dignity and respect back.
In the view of faking news, if Indian Govt. allow these words as name of people, no one will be able to mark out religion of one another and humanity will be saved from inhuman killings.