Sunday, 25th June, 2017

India will be prepared for the zombie apocalypse by 2020: Modi

17, Oct 2014 By Rima

Gloom has finally decided to settle in India.

Still reeling from the shock over Modi’s tweet, (“Back in India with a freshly implanted brain. Beware people! I’m dangerous now! RAWR!”) Indians were further pushed into a state of severe brain damage after reading the PM’s blog post.

Owing to the increase in the number of zombie fearing youths of the country, the parliament has decided to formulate a battle plan against the possibility of a zombie apocalypse by 2020,” read the post that, needless to say, will be engraved in history.

It went on to expound the conception and inspiration behind the decision.

I have to thank Mr. Obama for enlightening me on the subject of zombie dominance. Prior to the discussion, I had absolutely no idea about the magnitude of damage zombies can cause. “

The US govt has already developed a battle plan, and the supposition is that India will draw its ideas from them.

 The blog post culminated with a survival tip and a blessing. “Until then, keep an extra underwear ready and watch a lot of zombie movies. May the force be with you.

Some have upbraided the zombie attack plan, pointing out that zombies aren’t a part of the Indian culture, and preparing for their attack is actually an insult to Hinduism, something that Modi is evidently very attached to.

“The attack plan will not take place”, cried a Modi fan. ” It cannot take place, as the idea is contrary to BJP’s Hindutva ideology. Modi is a little drunk now, that’s all.”

Twitter instantly exploded with sensational tweets, criticizing and congratulating the BlattleTheZ (TBC) plan.

Here are some of them-

“My grandmother , if she were alive, would have been extremely upset at this zombie battle plan. Please stop implanting brains. You were better off without it.#BlattleTheZ #Modi” –SeniorIndianCitizen

“OMG! A zombie attack plan! This is so cool.  #Modi, you rock. #BlattleTheZ”  -immakidlol

“What is next? A mutant school?  May the force be with YOU sir.#BlattleTheZ #Modi” –thepolitecritic

MR.MODI, THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW TONIGHT,THE EXACT MEASURE OF YOUR INTELLECTUAL DISABILITY. IT ALSO WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOU COULD POSSIBLY USE THE MONEY OF A COMMON CITIZEN FOR SOMETHING AS RIDICULOUS AS THIS #BattleTheZ ????? -Arnab Goswami

Despite public revulsion, Modi has stood firm in his decision. “You all will thank me someday”, he says.

We can only hope for it to be true.