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India TV to launch its very own newspaper: "The Torn Pages..."

18, Jul 2012 By dipenambalia

In the rat race to bite the bigger part of the ‘media apple’, India TV had launched its very own newspaper called “The Torn Pages…”.

Our Faking News reporter was present at the very launch of the newspaper and had an exclusive interview with the CEO of the channel (FN reporter was the 8th reporter to have that exclusive interview). We present excerpts of the interview (before the FN reporter was admitted to a nearby hospital):

FN Reporter: Congrats sir. You are ahead in the game now! CEO Of India TV: Thanks. Just to correct your statement- We were already ahead in the game. (looking at the confused look on the FN reporter’s face) In fact after being the most famous news channel in India, abroad and amongst aliens, we thought of ruling the print media too!

FN Reporter: So, who is your target for this newspaper? CEO Of India TV: Every Indian ..right from Kashmir to Kanyakumari! The ordinary and poor, the bored, the very-bored-housewives, the people who want to see or read something different…

FN Reporter: So, will your newspaper be in Hindi or english or regional languages? CEO Of India TV: No. It will be independent of any language.

FN Reporter: How on earth is that possible? CEO Of India TV (smiling): It’s not for nothing that we are ahead of others! There is an old saying “A picture speaks more than a thousand words”. Our newspaper is based on the same fundamental. We will take screen prints of the shows held on the previous day and print them as photos in the newspaper next morning. Needless to say, we will have each photo captioned properly as we do on TV. Just to give you a small example: In our newspaper, there will be a section called “Ansuni-the unheard”. It will have our famous stories such as “Aliens adore Himesh Reshammiya’s music”, “Aliens love cow milk”, “Onion maangti Chudail ”, etc. So a half hour episode of “Onion Mangti Chudail” will get converted into a newspaper report in 6 pictures captioned very creatively by our creative team..ooops!, I mean, our reporters!

FN Reporter: A newspaper full of photos! I had never ever imagined that! CEO Of India TV: hahahah… Then our newspaper is definitely for you!

FN Reporter: So, what is your strategy for spreading a word about your newspaper? CEO Of India TV: (smiling) you must be kidding me! We have never used any marketing strategy for your news channel. Same goes for our newspaper. Our work speaks for itself! People will do the propoganda themselves!

FN Reporter: Which sections can we find in the newspaper and who will be the editor-in-chief? CEO Of India TV: We will have sections like “Roz ki ghatna” by Karjat Sharma, “Agony Mausi” by our very dear guest writer- Pakhi Sawant, “Deshbhakti” by KRK, “Ansuni-the unheard” by Fekuchand Maharajji, and many more such sections.

FN Reporter: But sir, why did you announce Pakhi and KRK as the brand ambassadors of your newspaper? CEO Of India TV: They symbolize our ideology. They create news out of nothing, like we do!

Our reporter fainted and had to be taken on a stretcher to a nearby hospital. The rest of the interview will be mailed in a few days’ time.!!!