Paris, July 21, 2017: French President Macron annunced that France will ban sale of petrol and diesel vehicles by 2040 and replace them with hybrids. Soon Indian PM Modi declared that India will ban them by 2018 and replace them with bullock carts.
Modi said “Bulls are spouses of cows and since we don’t want cows to do any work, the bulls will be put to work.” Tax Minister Jaitley defended PM’s decision “Our economy will go faster at bullock cart speed. We will only tax 18% per bullock. You can avoid double tax if you pay for 20 years in advance!”
Baba Ramdev said “Bull urine is good for diabetes, heart disease and cancer! We will bring out a new Patanjali product against pepsi!”
Home minister Rajnath said they will introduce a “Pradhan Mantri Yojana Bullcrap development scheme” to benefit the bulls. He suggested that all bulls must have bulldhaar number and it must be authenticated everytime a bull takes dump.
Meanwhile, TN ministers went on a one day token fast for two hours demanding that “bull fighting shall be made our national sport”. TN MLAs declared they will double their own salaries in order to fight for the bulls.
Tata Housing proposed a smart housing project for the bulls. The stock market went bullish on that report and hit past 31,000. A dalal street broker was seen grinning “we shall lead the greedy human sheep to the slaughter!”
In the remote forgotten section of the country the bullocks of darjeeling demanded that they want a separate bullkaland to preserve their identity and ethnic cohesion. They further demanded their privacy be declared a fundamental right and filed a public interest petition in the supreme court. CJI said “the work load on human privacy is very high. Hence the bull case will come up in the year 2048”.