Monday, 23rd October, 2017

India Protests against Modi's porn ban, Bollywood comes to rescue

04, Aug 2015 By sandip

Narendra Modi, the youth icon of India, shocked his followers by banning all the porn websites. It has sent shockwaves across the country, specially in engineering colleges, where students were seen shedding tears looking at posters of miss grey on their hostel room walls. On the other hand, Arvind Kejriwal jumped with happiness, “Finally, after a long time, I got opportunity to sit on Dharna again.”

Arvind Kejriwal quickly grabbed his muffler and boarded his WagonR to reach Jantar Mantar. He called up Manish Sisodia and said, “Dude! I am sitting on Dharna. Discuss with the party and come up with some logical reason to justify it”. The DU and IIT-Delhi boys heard the news and wanted to join the noble cause but were afraid of their girlfriends/parents. So, to remain anonymous, they decided to smear colour over their entire body (the way they do during Holi) and reached Jantar Mantar.

Shakti Kapoor called to host this Dharna.
Shakti Kapoor called to host this Dharna.

Seeing the large youth crowd, other political parties sensed a political opportunity and jumped in to support the Dharna. Mr. N.D. Tiwari, the “experienced” leader started, “That’s why we don’t allow BJP to work in parliament. Else they would bring out many more anti youth laws like this”. Mulayam Singh supported, “How will boys be boys if they don’t watch porn?”

Digvijay Singh shouted, “It’s a conspiracy by RSS to promote Sanskrit as Kamasutra is written in Sanskrit”. Rahul Gandhi too reached the scene at Rahul Standard Time (1 hour behind IST) and started an emotional speech: “Look at these poor engineers. They worked so hard to get into IIT and what do they get here? No girls, no girlfriend and now not even porn? How will these kids survive? We don’t need this acche Din. Vote for us in next election and we we promise you ‘Acchi Raatein’”. Our faking news reporter spotted a few BJP MLAs from Karnataka, who were howling like little babies, ” How will we kill time in the state parliament meetings if all porn sites are banned ?”

Eminent personalities from Bollywood also reached Jantar Mantar to calm down the crowd. Poonam Pandey grabbed a mike and screamed, “If this ban is not revoked, I will bare all for the greater good of society.” But the youth booed her down saying, “World cup ka promise abhi tak udhaar hai madam.” Finally, Mahesh Bhatt was able to calm down the crestfallen youngsters with his usual intelligent sounding speech,”Boys, it’s time to switch to Bollywood movies. We have raised our standards manifolds, the lines are blurring and very soon both will be indistinguishable. I saw this coming and that’s why convinced Sunny to come to Bollywood.”