Mumbai: A 26 year old civil engineer working in an Indian MNC has reportedly quit his job at the esteemed engineering organization to take up the role of Head-HR in his next assignment.
While his parents are still in a shock at this Chutzpah (apparently they have decided not to pay his next education loan installment), the ex IITian himself is on cloud nine and feels this is just too good to be true. He said, “I feel on top of the world. There are not enough words to describe my emotions. I’m just speechless.” And followed it up with Gangnam Style Dance.
According to country’s leading newspaper, Khooni Khabrein, for the last 2 years Rahul was on bench waiting for a project to be assigned to him. In the mean time he noticed his colleagues struggled to understand most of the HR policies (which by the way are made like that on purpose). He promised his on-site colleagues to understand the policies on their behalf and resolve their queries.
He states, “Initially I was hesitant going up to the HR every now and then. She would keep parking my queries and said she was super busy and we’ll take it offline. I thought it had something to do with my conversation etiquette with the opposite gender (you know we IITians do not have much experience in that regard). So, I took the conventional approach & charted out a plan. I became WhatsApp friends with her & eased into the questions. It was only after a couple of weeks I realized that she & I were actually on the same page. Literally, she did not have any clue whatsoever about these HR policies.
Her job description actually reads:
1) Acting confidently that you understand the HR policies 2) Making employees believe that these policies are for their benefit 3) Figuring out replies to employees’ queries in such a way that they do not realize they are being fooled
It was then it struck me that, hey I could do this job. Well, I had mastered the art of making my friends & family believe that I understood everything about my work even though I was sitting on bench for 2 years. So, why not the HR job!
That started Rahul’s job hunting. “I was determined to take up this role. I got an interview call & like all my previous interviews I started preparing for this one too, except I couldn’t figure out what exactly is an HR interviewee supposed to prepare. So, I started penning down some ideas that could be HR Policies in any organization & copied it in a PPT. That was it. My interviewer was so impressed with some of the ideas that he offered me the role of Head-HR. He was remarkably impressed by my proposed policies on Work From Home & Overtime; and made it applicable throughout the MNC group, effective immediately.”
Last night Khooni Khabrein got hold of these policies through some internal sources. The policies read as under:
Work From Home
- All employees are entitled to work from home on all working days
- It is mandatory for all employees to work from home at least once a week
- Those who do not comply with the above rule will not be entitled to yearly bonus
- *Hidden Clause* – Definition of Work from Home : Work from Home means working full day in office, go back home & then continue your work from home
- All employees who work after normal working hours are entitled for overtime
- Overtime will be paid at 200% of employees’ per-hour salary
- Salary, for this purpose, means all CTC components & not only Basic Salary
- The yearly bonus will be in proportion of the overtime amount an employee earns
- *Hidden Clause* – Employees who have the privilege of working from home are not entitled to overtime amount.
Rahul has been assigned the task of ensuring that these policies are in place & to make employees’ understand how they can improve productivity with such motivating HR policies around. We wish Rahul all the best for his new assignment.