Monday, 29th May, 2017

IIT Kanpur graduate with Rs. 1 cr job offer suddenly finds the love of his life

09, Dec 2013 By cunninglinguist

Kanpur. Kuber Kansal is the man of the man of the hour. After being offered a record-breaking package of Rs. 1.3 crore at IIT Kanpur campus placements, he has suddenly found the love of his life.

We spoke to the girl who has won the young man’s heart.

“It was love at first sight. I was visiting him as he was put on display by IIT Kanpur. I was just fascinated when I laid my eyes on him. I couldn’t keep my mind off his huge package,” said the lovely lady, who wishes to be unnamed.

When asked about her occupation, she said, “I am studying mining engineering at ISM Dhanbad, specializing in the mining of precious metals like gold.”  When our reporter summarized her occupation as a being a gold-digger, she became irate.

Coincidences galore!

“I was so enamored with him that I could even block out the mental scar of watching Saif Ali Khan in “Bullett Raja” on our first date. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.” she scoffed.

We spoke to some friends of Kuber about his dating life.

“The only dates he had were the ones his mom had given him to keep him energetic during late night study sessions,” said Kalesh Karunga, his close friend.

Another friend offered an interesting perspective on the whole affair. “I think all this publicity is very good for IIT students. I hope that my pados waali Sharma aunti will finally stop confusing IIT with ITI.”

“I go to IIT, Sharma aunti, not ITI”, he bellowed as our reporter pulled his recorder away.

We wanted to get his family’s reaction on the exciting developments in their beloved’s life.

“I am very happy for Kuber. I knew he would make it big because I was the one who had planned it all. Even before he was born, I read books about the best positions to conceive an IITian. Then I hired a jyotish to give him the perfect name to maximize his chances of cracking JEE. You’d think it all comes down to hard work and genuine love of science for success in JEE, but that’s not it at all. It’s all in the stars and the positions,” said Kkontrolling Kansal, Kuber’s dad, as our reporter cringed.

Meanwhile, during all this brouhaha, Kuber was unavailable for comment as he was busy celebrating his success with a night of good sleep, something he had been unable to do during his 4 years at IIT.