Jhumri Talayya. World’s premier Ivy League university, IIN, has announced its much awaited course – PhD in Facebook browsing.
Addressing a press conference at IIN’s main campus in Jhumri Talaiyya, IIN dean Dr Bay Wakoof said, “We have had millions of facebook requests from lazy housewives, college dropouts, on-bench engineers and Delhi metro travellers requesting for a PhD in Facebook browsing, so finally we have this course for them.”
However prospective students were in for a shock when IIN released their first cut off list – an IQ of less than 50 is mandatory to get admission.
“Any average guy will not be able to complete this tough PhD course because at a minimum, one needs to be logged into Facebook for 20 hours a day doing nothing else,” said Prof Vella Sharma, course guide and IIN topper.
On successful completion of the course, students will be awarded their PhD certificates via bulk telemarketing SMS.
IIN says it hopes for 100% campus placement for students who successfully complete the course with Facebook being one of the major companies who will hire from IIN.
Facebook honcho Bark Suckerberg said, “We need subjects for our R&D lab so that we can test our latest ATS [addiction-to-stupidity] techniques on them : trained low IQ folks is our need and IIN has all of them at one place, passouts of this course will be perfect for us!”
There has been a great positive response from the common man about this course. “IIN’s ‘cutting edge’ training methods used in this course will surely help boost our career profiles,” claimed Bal Katwardhan, a barber.
IIN has released a list of activities which can help prospective students help clear the extremely competitive entrance exams :
– Logging into FB as soon as one wakes up and checking each notification with great curiosity even if it always turns out to be a Candy Crush request
– Checking out and Liking pictures of at least 200 random unknown fellow low IQ users, preferably girls.
– Leaving “awww..so cute and so pretty comments” on at least 10 pics even though you think they are ugly.
– Boring 10 people to death daily with your same old copied selfie poses.
– Visiting at least 10 airports in a month and leaving cheapass “flying to New York” or “flying to Bangladesh” status updates.
A word of caution from IIN – Students who fail to complete the course within 7 years will be expelled and sent back to real life.