Sensing the increasing demands from all over the political class, businessmen, babus and bureaucrats, IISC has decided to start few advance courses on Scam Planning and Handling, Public Focus Management, Focus Diversion and on few other potential subjects just before world’s biggest banana republic goes in to general elections next year.
In a press conference, the Human’s Remote Development ministry Spokesperson Mr. Bhola said that they have been working on this project for past few years after 2G allocation and CWG closing ceremony. Bhola, stated, this indeed a revolutionary initiative taken for the upper class ruling elites after so much has been done recently for the strategically kept socially backward and poor class. These courses will be beneficial in preventing officials and political leaders from falling into the traps of so called honest Auditors. These skills will also help in keeping the common man shielded from all 27X7 troublesome news.
*IISC – Ideal institute for Scams and Corruption Studies.
Academics: The courses offered are:
Course in Advance Scam planning [SCS2014.1] – (annual intake 420 students all categories) – this course is of 14 weeks duration including 3 week lab practical, aimed at enabling students to achieve general understanding on planning, preparing and execution of scams and frauds, budget and funds allocation, provides in depth knowledge for conducting feasibility studies for large and small scale scams, playing with official numbers. Required qualification is none, must have held a post of public interest involving direct-indirect money engagements. Special stress given on inflating original bills, tickets, morphing original documents, erasing important texts from confidential Reports & Files much before inquires, Bribing etiquette’s Student exchange programs for similar activities.
Course in Advance Blame Game Strategies [SCS2014.2]: (annual intake 210 students) – This course is of 10 weeks duration, selection based only on recommendation by ex-leaders. The course helps in excelling blaming others for all wrong doings and unpleasant things at personal, professional, communal and political level. Role based interactive teaching methodology;
Course on Public Focus Diversion & Misleading Statement making [SCS2014.3]: (Annual intake 105 students): course duration 6 months, specially compiled for national spokespersons. The course helps in understating social and integral structure of society, helps in becoming shameless hypocrite, trains in utilizing, managing media, diverting public’s attention towards issues of least importance. Special post diploma crash course on misleading statement making skills. Prerequisite is the Course[SCS2014.2] .Stress given on shaping shameless personality, behavioral development.
Course on Post Scam Enquiry Disruption Strategies Study [SCS2014.4]: Annual intake 100 students, course duration is 20 Weeks for theoretical teaching. This course is specifically designed for senior executives and old leaders. Enables student with skills in managing, controlling and disrupting any or many enquiries going on simultaneously, from their normal flow. Enriches students with skills needed for conducting useless press meetings, helps in giving communal color to normal technical scams and faults. At the end of this course students become expert in making simple enquiries to non deterministic endless investigations which are guaranteed to run more than ones life’s time.
Note: All other course cannot be disclosed as they involve national security and communal harmony.
About Faculties: All permanent faculties are qualified hypocrites, economists, sociologists; corrupt gurus, all are previously acquitted bureaucrats and leaders from various parties. Visiting professors are either currently serving or under trail civil case criminals.
The entire curriculum will be funded by UGC, placements will be guaranteed at state and national level services at various departments and committees. All parties’ youth and old wings have welcomed this announcement. As expected by the time this new could have become public, registration for admission for all courses is closed (call this as a minor admission scam) Department heads are happy so far with the application submission process. There is no written or verbal examination, entrance process is fully recommendation and SOP based. It’s as per the constitution Says Mr. Bhola, because to serve the nation you need no education, presentation or debating skills, what is needed is passion. Further on short listing probable candidates he said it’s going to be more interesting expect more little scams till the admission ends.
*UGC: Universal Grant for Corruptions.
~wait for more..
Disclaimer: Above write up is not intended to hurt person or emotions, invented all names and situations after seeing all around. Any other use of real names or background is accidental and coincidental, or is used as a fictional depiction. Writer is an Indian and equally worried about India and against corruption. IF your personal feelings were hit please reply/comment.