Wednesday, 21st February, 2018

HR fires employees for not voting despite the day off

05, Dec 2013 By thepelicanclub

In what could only be termed as “going beyond call of duty”, Excellence Global Management Strategy Partners has fired more than half of its employees for not fulfilling their democratic duty of voting in Delhi elections.

Call of duty.
Call of duty.

Miss Sonali Singhania – HR head has confirmed the sackings  and explained this is due to “frivolous attitude” towards their basic democratic duties which obviously is a reflection of their attitude towards work. This is when the firm “magnanimously” provided a paid day off to vote.

Some of the existing and now-sacked employees provided more details on the condition of anonymity.

“None of the access cards were working this morning and there was a huge queue at the office entrance. Then the HR staffs led by Sonali emerged from inside and started letting people in one by one but only after checking their nails,” told a ‘safe’ employee.

“Some of the employees were made to wait outside the entrance after failing the nails check – just like in school days. The en-queued employees obviously being smart and familiar with engineering viva process started chewing their nails and rubbing shoes on back of the trouser to pass this new test. “

The reporter inquired why did the employees think that this is a school inspection, an irritated ‘now-sacked’ employee retorted.

“Don’t you have HR in your office that sends pesky colorful mails of 4 MB each? And don’t you delete them without even looking? We thought this is some ‘bring your inner-child’ to work day and HR is creating a school atmosphere to get everyone’s attention.”

As it turned out, the employees who did not have any voter ink mark on their finger nails were pulled out of the line and given pink slips for “gross negligence and misconduct”.

As expected, all the sacked employees were not happy with the decision and had their own tales about not voting.

“We are in internet age. The government should allow online voting for everybody. You cannot expect busy consultants to stand in line with Aam Admi to vote. We are not Gandhis that need a photo-op,” exhorted Troll Kumar (name changed) who has spend better part of last 6 months fighting Congis, Sickulars and Paid Media over Twitter, Facebook and comments sections of Rediff and Times of India.

There were other’s who were not so much concerned with the logistics but with timing of elections. “Common yaa, Sonali knows this is wedding season! I had my nails done only last weekend for 3 weddings I am supposed to attend this weekend. How could I ruin my expensive manicure for voting? Like who cares! When I explained this to Sonali, she even cancelled my severance package also. She’s always been jealous of me,” said an angry Ritu Malhotra (name changed to random hot sounding girl).

On the other hand, Om Prakash Yadav, veteran consultant and Travel & Expense expert is ruing the final vote of the day that he was not able to cast. After casting votes as Mutahir Hussain, Raam Gopal Sharma, Surinder Saini and Anil Sukhija, Yadav wanted to polish off the day with a genuine vote in his own name. After removing the voter ink stain for fifth time yesterday and standing in line, the EVM malfunctioned and voting was suspended at the booth leaving him with clean nails and pink slip.

Still there were others who were noble in their intent but faced legal challenges put forth by Constitution of India. Venkat Subramanian (name changed to most generic regional stereotype) is still trying to convince the HR department that due to his name being in the voting list for Chennai constituency, he was not eligible to vote in Delhi elections. The HR reportedly has responded in a terse – “we do not entertain any exception to the policy”. On being asked to share the HR policy documents, the response was “it’s in process”.

Miss Sonali has clarified that firing of employees is in no way related to rumors of clients suing the company for failed projects.