Delhi: The whole India woke up today to the shocking news that has sent ripples across the world. In a huge operation that involved around 2 million policemen, 50000 Intelligence officials and 5000 army men, around 5 million Hindu Terrorists have been arrested and kept in either jails or house arrest.
Delhi Police Commissioner, Dheeraj Kumar, proclaimed in a press meet, “We had intelligence input that multiple explosions will resonate across the whole of India on this weekend and the intensity of blasts will be higher on November 1 and 2. So, we arrested all Hindu extremist youth who were planning to conduct such an atrocity of the highest degree. We will press terrorist laws on them and might even execute them by hanging or mass shooting. Or leave them in Kashmir.”
CBI Director Sarabjit Sinha, in a seperate interview, thanked UPA for its full fledged support in nabbing the deadly terrorists. “Those communal rascals and scoundrels are now arrested and it would not had been possible without the full support of Home Ministry. We only have orders to not arrest minority youths, but we have full power to arrest any majority youth.”
It was a gala day for Digvijay singh, as he kept on sending tweets celebrating his dream come true. “Didn’t I say? RSS hand is now caught. Saffron terrorism is abolished!” and “Fascist Modi is the reason for this. Imagine, if he becomes PM?”. Singh is believed to have hosted a grand dinner for the high command and its sycophants.
Sushil Kumar Shinde had cancelled all the music launch shows and any other social event for the whole week to work on this dream mission. He is on discussion with Kapil Sibal to draft a bill to put all these saffron terrorists under non-bailable offences. Along with this, the explosive and bomb manufacturing units have been busted (which would have burst-ed on its own if left for a few days). Environmentalists were the most happiest as they need not campaign about the smoke that comes out of bursting the lethal and dangerous explosives.
World leaders were quick in their response to this galactic event. Obama praised Manmohan Singh and said, “I used to say terrorism has no religion. Well, Hinduism is an exception. These are Hindu Terrorists and yes, terrorism has religion. But, other religions are for peace”. British PM James Cameron was in a happier mood, when he said, “We will not allow such religion in UK. UK is an example of multiculturalism and we will allow only “peaceful” immigrants and definitely not communals”.
The intellectuals, movie stars and Poonam Pandey who used to be silent for every other terror incident, sprang into the limelight and began delivering speeches about how cruel Internet Hindus are and how they too need to be arrested. Sagarika Ghosh said in a fiery news that Internet Hindus should be booked under Cyber crime for cracking jokes on her and exploding with laughter on it.
There were shocking reports about rockets, atom bombs, hydrogen bombs and meteor showers being stocked up in homes of these terrorists. International Atomic Energy Agency was confused about the production of these atom & hydrogen bombs, while NASA is baffled about how they could keep meteor showers at home conditions.
The patriotic Akbaruddin Owasis said, “the saffron terrorists caught were of the age range of 12-18. This speaks of the volume of BJP-VHP-RSS Mossad influence into our Al Hind. Give me fifteen minutes and tell the police to step aside, for I need to go to restroom.” And then he rushed to restroom in the court complex.