Thursday, 17th August, 2017

Health ministry recommends Sidhu laughter track to fight mosquitos

09, Jan 2014 By hitesh dhall

New Delhi: Bogged down by ever increasing dengue menace, health ministry has taken a decision to use hazardous high frequency sound waves to fight the fatal species of mosquitoes causing dengue  fever across city. Scientists have discovered a very easily accessible source of such high frequency sound waves and have advised citizens to keep handy, recordings of Navjot sidhu’s laughter tracks.

sidhu
Sidhu the new mortien.

Chief scientist at SIDU (Sound Imaging for Destructive Utilization) has recommended this measure be used only in cases of severe mosquito infestation. The decision is clearly taken in desperation for countering high number of dengue cases reported recently. A spokesperson from health ministry revealed that government has issued a public warning including precautionary measures one should take while dealing with hazardous atmospheric compressions during the usage of Sidhu laughter tracks to get rid of mosquitoes.

This kind of measure should be used only after all the mosquito sprays/coils/repellents have all failed. All the civic bodies, municipal corporations have been directed to replace anti mosquito fume throwers with Sidhu laughter track CDs, carried on rear of bicycles, which will be taken across localities in high risk areas. Besides measures taken by municipality, citizens have started sourcing these recordings on their own. Sidhu laughter tracks have hit the top charts on internet and an android app will be rolled out later this week.

As soon as govt. announced this alternative measure, a cheap ‘made in china’ copy hit the grey markets under the label “Archana puran laughter track”. These laughter tracks however come with statutory warning, to completely cover your ears preferably Kejriwal style to avoid any direct exposure while handling high frequency sound waves, and to keep out of children’s reach.

Initial reports suggest that this measure of insect control is proving to be highly effective while dealing with stubborn mosquitos, as every time the track is played it makes them either flee or starve themselves to death out of shock.