Wednesday, 13th December, 2017

GST reduces the price of human lives, people rejoice

02, Jul 2017 By Tamaghna Mandal

The newly introduced Goods and Service Tax or GST for short added to the constitution by the 101st amendment to the Indian Constitution has resulted in quite a lot of hullabaloo among the Indian masses. The long awaited reform had met with a lot of roadblocks since 2010. But now that it has been passed it has resulted in a massive change in the price of goods available in the market. While it increases the price of goods and services like luxury hotels, electronic gadgets and other thinks that are no longer required in this age of technology. It has also resulted in the decrease in price of other essential services such as tobacco, human life, etc.

Rahul Gandhi seemingly damn happy
Rahul Gandhi, too, seemingly damn happy

This reduction in price on human life has been met with mixed reviews from the public, much like the earlier DC Cinematic Universe movies. Hardcore GST fans which include members from the ruling party have called it a huge success. We had reached a very active party sangathak who had this to say, “I am very grateful to PMOji for finally passing the GST law. The reduction of price on human lives will greatly benefit us during the upcoming elections. We would be able to buy more votes at a cheaper rate. Thanks PMOji for making our work easier. I don’t know why the f**k I was speaking in English. Angrezi bharatiya sabhyata ke khilaaf hain. Agrezi na boliye. Jay Hind”. “All vote buys will be in demonetised currency so that it can’t be considered malpractice”, he added soon.

On the other hand there is an unusual mull in the contract killing market place after the GST declaration. This business has been hit the worst by the declaration of the new reform. Our very own reporter was able to reach Mr. Bade Bhaijaan of the “Bhaaijaan and Bhaaijaan Shooters Inc.” for a short opinion. He had this to say – “The contract killing business is at it’s all time low. At the moment we are not taking on any new assignments. We are already lagging behind on schedule due to the large number of assignments we took during the pre-GST maha-Sale. None of our stake holders need to concerned. Especially you Smuggler bhaiyya. As we speak our experts are brainstorming on whether we can take advantage of reduced price of cigarettes to kill using smoke or lung cancer.”

We also approached a local Chartered Accountant, CA CAmdhenhu CAlelkar, he had this to say about the issue, “See GST is a jargon jargon, jargon. Maine CA kiya hain mera favourite shabd hain jargon. A some more useless jargon. Thank you.”

P.S: Our reporter who reported on Bade Bhaaijaan has been missing since then. If anyone has seen him, please inform our office. He was last seen wearing a muffer and gandhi topi.