Sunday, 18th March, 2018

GST in a GhoSTly Gallery

10, Jan 2018 By vidambanachar

Amongst the several citizens who have expressed angst over GST are not just youngsters, songsters and “gagsters”, but even gangsters. Here’s a trans-sectional view of the public perception of the gist and gestalt of the GST gesture:

> At the stroke of the midnight hour, India will awake to multiple ‘mid-nightmarish” strokes of cruel karma. – Syndicate of Pessimistic Mystics.

> Oh, my goodness, even ‘good services’ invite a tax now! – Dr. T.G. Goodheart, MD, president of a medical philanthropic foundation.

> GSTN: God Save The Nation! (a slogan mocking the massive GST Network) – Academy of antisocial socialists and anti-capitals.

> Nation First, Tax First; Goods & Services Later. –28% Paytriot (A ‘Paid’ TV Channel).

> Does it also mean “cervical goods & services tax”? – Consortium of ‘Concerned’ Surgeons.

> Green, Saffron & Transparent-White: a lucid “tricolour” fusion! – League of Anti-rational Nationalists.   

> R.I.P., “VAT” 69! and Cheers!, GSTequila! –“VatsDown” WhatsApp Brigade.

> All tax attacks, toxic tactics and tacky talks – no tasks, no service, no good. – Egotists against GST.

> Without any ‘sin tax’ (tax on harmful substances), the ‘syntax’ of GST will provide ample grist to the Opposition mill, as well as rumour mills. –Texas Taxes Textbook.

> GST is Indian Economy’s GSAT. It will skyrocket India to the ‘summit’ of ‘G-8’. – GST protagonists.

> We are aghast and disgusted! They are playing a “twist with India’s business density”!  – A shout from the gust of protests of the “Give Some Thought” movement.

> Customs Tax may go; but what will happen to the ‘accustomed’ tax one is ‘duty’-bound to cough up at various offices? Will it be ‘excised’ away? –    GST Agnostics Worldwide.

> Greater number of ‘goods’ taxed for the greater ‘good’ of the people. – Peshawar Swami G at ‘Cipherpass’ Ashram.

> Closing your eyes when India is ‘changing’? – Midnight Hour Midgets.

> ‘Gau’-rnment Sponsored Theatricals in times of Gassed-up Stomach Trouble; looks like a poltergeist’s prank. – Vibes from a tax-haven in the ‘Black Buck Sea’.

> The destiny of this “Destination Tax” – or rather, “termination tax” – is unmistakable. The ‘Zero Hour’ will swiftly and surely induce ‘Zero Effect’. – Tom A Shaw, “Badmash Bad Shah of Tamasha”.

> Ground Swelling Transformation to benefit millions of traders in a double-trillion-dollar economy. – “Book of Guesstimates by GST mates.

> ‘Certified’ devotees of Ganga, Go (‘Gau’), Gayatri, Gita (Bhagavadgita) and Gandhi must be given “5-G” tax immunity.  – Lt. Secretary General, ‘Holy G-5’ Gang.

> Drugstores, flagstones, steppingstones, tungsten and walking sticks must receive cent percent GST exemption.  Ghost-writers, Gasket makers, Diagnosticians, Manufacturers of gastric, digestive and decongestant medicines, taxidermists, taxi-drivers and taxonomists must also receive due GST exemptions.  [Gosht (meat) has already received total GST exemption]. – Longstanding Laughingstocks of Scoffers India Inc.

> The greatest reformative ‘fiscal exercise’ ever. It’s India’s own Glasnost and Perestroika. – e-‘Gau’rnance Taxforce.

> This uniform levy will unite all economic units into a unique ‘Indian Economic Union’. – Radical ‘Re-vampires’ of Resurgent Republics. > The esteemed GST team will work full steam to carry through this scheme.  – “Ji Yes Tea” Club.

> One Nation: One Notion; One Taxation: One Vexation; One Emotion: One Devotion. – Prof. A. Ganeshan, Author of “A Gun Nation Gone Amok” and “A Hypernation in Hibernation”.

> Tardy and traitor traders will never feel tired of their tirade, unless they are tried by this new tariff dispensation … Let lakhs of traders who are lax on tax face the ax. – Chief ‘Vigilante’ Commissioner, GST ‘RuckShuck’ Force.

> Goods and Services Tax will mean all ‘good services’ to society and all good-willed and service-minded people will be taxed differentially after proper ‘commodification’ and ‘quantification’ of the underlying human values. For instance, “Peace & Harmony Tax” @ 28%,  “Entrepreneurship & Leadership Tax” @ 18%, “Goodwill & Compassion Tax” @ 12%, and “Talent & Creativity Tax” @ 5%.  All democratic rights will be treated as ‘deluxe goods’ and will attract the highest tax slab. (By the way, how would you fancy a super-tax on death? Would it discourage people from dying?) – Director of Indirect Tax Studies, State University of Taxila.