Thursday, 17th August, 2017

Govt to replace CBSE, ICSE with New CBSE

08, Jun 2017 By funkaar

The Board exam results for CBSE, ICSE and other state boards were declared last fortnight and one more batch of students passed with marks higher than their parents and teachers combined. The Schoolteachers Association of India (SAI) has taken up the issue with the HRD Ministry requesting an overhaul of the education system. The English Chapter of SAI has filed a separate plea in the Supreme Court challenging the decision to award 100 per cent marks to student in English. As a result, all SAI affiliated teachers will be on a eight week strike during the summer vacations to press ahead with their demands.

Reacting to the fast unfolding developments, inside sources at the HRD Ministry have pointed towards a big overhaul of the country’s education system. The fundamental change will be the establishment of a single, all-India education Board: New CBSE (Central Board of Sanskaari Education).

HRD minister happily making announcement
HRD minister happily making announcement

The mandate of the board will be to enrich our students’ knowledge through a holistic understanding of traditional Indian values (Sanskaar). SAI President Mr. Anoop Jalota agrees that this is a promising initiative. “The government will inculcate sanskaar among the students with the new curriculum and we are sure that the marks will go down in the Board Exams. Afterall, today’s kids are fed on a Starbucks culture of instant coffee. They ought to know how to milk their cows for a cup of tea.”

The HRD ministry has invited suggestions to draft the new curriculum from eminent cultural icons like Tulsi Virani (ex-HRD Minister), famous peacock expert Mahesh Chandra Sharma, business tycoon Baba Ramdev, and Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Ji Insan (I&B Ministry’s official entry to the Rotten Tomatoes Hall of Fame).

Some of the initial suggestions include introducing new subjects like- Yoga se hi Hoga (Physical Education), Swaad Desi  (Indian cuisine studies),and Family Guy (Bovine Studies). However, the most radical suggestion is to debar Left-handed students from appearing in the examinations. This should ensure a Right-handed future generation seeped in Indian values.

HRD Minister Mr Prakash Javdekar could not be reached for a comment, as he was attending the felicitation ceremony for the CBSE toppers of this year. The ceremony started in the morning and the event is still going on at the time of filing this report.