After the successful execution of Yoga Day the BJP Government is now all set to celebrate “Raksha Bandhan Day” on the 29th August. Since there is no World Raksha Bandhan Day, this will probably be a National thing.
Hon. PM Modi has set up a committee to supervise this Event which is being headed by none other than ….. YES … You guessed it right .. Smriti Irani.
This Event Management Company will be called The Smriti Irani Rakhi Kommittee for Education and Learning Indianism (SIRKELI)
If my drunk sources are right, and they are never wrong, the plans are already being made by SIRKELI.
As reported, they are planning to book the biggest ground in every state, where guys and girls will assemble and get Rakhis tied.
All the BJP leaders have been instructed to take part in this function with all enthusiasm.
There have also been reports that both, Sushma Swaraj and Vasundhara Raje might take this opportunity to tie Rakhis to Lalit Modi. That ways no one can then accuse them of favoritism.
Instead of Humanitarian Grounds they can easily do things on “Bhai-Behen ka Pyaar reason”, which is a much more acceptable angle in India.
The plans also reveal that there is a consideration of making Rakhi Sawant as the brand ambassador for this mega event. The only problem is that she says “O Jijus” more often than “Jai Shri Ram”, so that might be some sort of an issue with the “Nationalists”.
Of course, Sadhvi Prachi and Yogi Adityanath have already prepared their speeches.
Sadhvi’s speech read, “Those who do not take part in the Raksha Bandhan event should go to China”. I think that has something to Hindi Chini Bhai Bhai.
Adityanath’s speech went something like, “Those who dont tie Rakhis should go to Bangkok”… and I have no clue what he meant by that.
These speeches are subject to last minute changes. But the idea is clear; those who wont take part in this Function will have to go SOMEWHERE.
Though, I have serious doubts that this is all being done to promote Mukhtar Naqvi Tours and Travels Pvt. Ltd. And but of course, anyone who does not attend the Raksha Bandhan event will be declared as Anti-National.
Smriti Irani also plans to introduce Raksha Bandhan Day in Schools and Colleges and will be making the attendance compulsorily optional.
On hearing this, the FOSLA (Frustrated One Sided Lovers Association) Engineering Division are planning to go on strike with Rahul Gandhi leading them. They are going to demand for a Vishwa KamaSutra Day instead, or so my drunk sources report.
And my heart goes out them. Being an Engineer, I know how hard it is for these guys to get a Girlfriend; getting a girl to tie them a Rakhi is easy peasy 😉
Disclaimer: All Rumours of Suresh Prabhu planning to go to Rajpath on Raksha Bandhan Day for his daily nap are absolutely false and baseless.