Tuesday, 20th February, 2018

God appears on earth, clarifies that Asaram is not his man

29, Aug 2013 By Anil Sharma

In quite a miraculous event today, God himself appeared on earth to clarify that the controversial Asaram Bapu is not his man.

Still a Godman?
Still a Godman?

According to the eyewitnesses, God looks like Morgan Freeman and speaks like Amitabh Bachchan.

“He was wearing a white suit, whiter than the ones showed in detergent powders’ advertisements,” an eyewitness told Faking News.

“God came down in a flash and there was blazing lightning when he appeared in-front of our eyes. It was the first time I saw some kind of light in my entire life,” said a student from Tamilnadu.

Apparently, God came to earth only for five minutes, just to indoctrinate the nation that Asaram Bapu is not his man, and everyone should stop calling him godman.

“I am here to clear to you all that Asaram is not my man and calling him a godman is an insult to me. He is using my name just for his personal benefits, just like Congress, as they are also using Mahatma Gandhi’s name for their personal benefits, ” God said in his five minutes speech.

“I’ve had enough. This Asaram dude is bullshitting about me since quite a long time. I cannot believe that the priests here are earning more than their Gods and a small farmer named Robert Vadra has covered more land than I did with my three steps,” God went on to add.

“Plus I want to tell you that I neither like the fragrance of the essence-sticks nor the sweets as I am a bit health conscious. I also don’t need any money and I hate the sound of the ghanta. So, I request you to stop this bullshit” God further added.

“You should believe in me but not in my priests,” God said and suddenly disappeared.

On the other hand, Asaram’s followers and few BJP, VHP and RSS leaders are still not persuaded.

“It was a fake God created by Congress just to trap a saint like Asaram Bapu. Congress is conspiring against Asaram Bapu because of his speeches against Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi,” BJP leader Uma Bharati stated.

Meanwhile Asaram’s followers are still waiting for a hegemonic show from Asaram.

“We’re all wondering that why Bapu is behaving like an ordinary man when he can easily dodge this bullet by just waving his hand. Maybe this is what makes him a godman,” a follower said.

“The problem is that the Rajasthan government is handling this case, if it was Haryana, they would have given clean-chit to Bapu saying that he is just a small eve-teaser and not a rapist,” another follower said.

There is news that Mahatma Gandhi is also planning to come down from heaven. He is more likely to request Asaram Bapu to remove the Bapu from his name.