Wednesday, 21st March, 2018

Girls of India (GOI) oppose the concept of giving “None of the above” as an option to Voters

19, Nov 2013 By iamgreat

Pic says it all

Kolkata. As the election season draws near, girls across India have gathered in a moral opposition of the ‘None of these’ option given to the voters. They are insistent on this being withdrawn as it is setting a wrong precedent infront of the whole world.

In a candle light vigil held at India gate against the newly added option, a girl told to a faking news reporter, “how can the government take such a ruthless step and provide someone with the option of not choosing anyone, we girls don’t function like this – we are in the habit of either “friendzoning” or not disclosing our intentions to the involved party, why can’t the govt. implement the same school of thought”.

After some further cajoling and getting the girl’s mobile talktime recharged, our correspondent was further told “all we want is to not disclose whom we want to choose so that parties live in the hope of being chosen one day, and it gives us an upper hand in all of this – we would very much like it this way, having an upper hand”.

The girls are also ready to launch a full blown social media campaign to help their cause, and allegedly many female celebrities like Priyanka Chopra, Katrina Kaif etc have also endorsed the idea and talks with some of them are underway to support DND publicly, only the compensation part is being negotiated.

Even some of the prominent women right activists have stepped up to the cause, and in one of the statements made by an infuriated female rights activist she exclaimed “women of India have long suffered at the hands of men, and it won’t be allowed to go like this any further. All we get is a certain quota in schools and colleges, free exam forms, a separate cabin in the Delhi Metro and many other advantages over men but that does not mean we are being treated equally”.

When our reporter tried to take a statement from a group of men present at the scene, he was told that the men were there because of their just-a-friend/special-friend/girlfriend/wives and were threatened to be dumped/divorced if they were not to accompany them.

In further digging up of the matter it was found out that all this started when a girl decided to marry her high school sweetheart and realized how every other guy she had on the cliffhanger refused to accord any kind of favors for her after her decision of narrowing down on that one guy.

Looking at the sad turn of events, the girl’s younger sister (who is pursuing English Hons from Delhi Univ) decided to take matters in her own hands and swore that she won’t let the same thing, which happened with her sister, happen to India (read: girls of India).

Finding herself low on experience and funding to start a revolt, she reeled in one of her just-a-good-guy-friend to help her get through with all of it and when the guy-friend initially refused to help her, the girl threatened to “friendzone” him and start dating his best friend, which eventually led the boy in helping the girl with her revolt.

In a statement made by a senior INC leader Shashi Tharoor, he said “All this agitation and uproar is because of Mr.Modi, as he is fudging with facts, and his act of erecting the tallest Sardar Patel statue is completely immoral”.We are expecting Sushma Swaraj (leader of opposition) to make a statement later in the day.