Saturday, 17th March, 2018

Gandhi surname replaces Bharat Ratna as the highest civilian honour

23, Sep 2012 By Sandeep Kadian

New Delhi. Government of India announced today that the highest civilian honour in the country, Bharat Ratna will be discontinued and will be replaced by the surname “Gandhi”. All the outstanding achievers in any field of human endeavour will get their last name replaced by “Gandhi”.

Making the announcement, Home Minister Mr. Sushil Kumar Shinde told media persons, “Gandhi surname commands so much respect across the board, Mrs. Sonia Gandhi thought it is selfish of her to keep this prestigious name among the select few so she… sorry, the government has decided to share it with all those who are deserving of such a reputed last name. Every Gandhi is a gem of India so it is just a synonym of Bharat Ratna. There is no change if you think about it.”

Facebook error
Government has asked Facebook not to approve membership of any person without consulting them if the person’s surname is Gandhi

Unconfirmed reports mention that Mr. Shinde has already requested PM Manmohan Singh to forward his name to be the first recipient of this “award”.

However, Sources close to the top brass of Congress said on the condition of anonymity “Sonia Ji is getting concerned about the future of Gandhi legacy. Rahul ji is refusing to play a major role at the centre despite multiple requests from everyone. He is not getting married either so no grandson Gandhi for Sonia ji to groom as the next leader of the country. That is why we have started looking at other deserving candidates who have the traits to be a Gandhi and rule the country in future.”

BJP has ridiculed this decision by the government saying “They have run out of things to name after a Gandhi so now they are toying with the highest honour of this country. We will launch a 2 day bandh to protest against this decision. Oh and Manmohan Singh should resign.”

The decision has left Sachin fans totally confused, they are no longer sure whether they want the highest honour for their God as it will make him Sachin Gandhi when they have grown accustomed to idolizing Sachin Tendulkar.