Mumbai. The Expressway between Mumbai and Pune had a chain of accidents during the just concluded weekend. Faking News successfully drove the man out of ICU, responsible for the mishap, for a quick chat. The man, known only as F1, a formula one driver, answered the questions with a lot of pain.
FN: I see you! You look ok. Can you talk now? F1: You making fun of me, calling me ICU?
FN: No. No. I said ‘I see you!’ Anyway, glad you are talking. Do you know that you are the talk of the town in 2 towns, both Mumbai and Pune and throughout the expressway that connects both? F1: I see! Sadly my first visit to Mumbai is on a wrong lane. The man smiled wryly in between bandages.
FN: How did it happen? F1: Faking or not, you get right to the point. I was driving between 75 and 80 on the highway, about the legally recommended speed limit in the expressway. Soon, I was pushed to the last lane by the angry and annoying horn sounds. I was pretty OK following slow moving vehicles, until stuck behind a lorry which moved slower than the infamous Indian Judiciary. The man took a sip of hospital water, before continuing.
That’s when I decided to overtake the vehicle and was turned down by about 150 angry, unrelenting drivers on the expressway. I must tell you! Driving in Indian roads is the toughest ordeal even for a F1 guy. It is not ‘survival of the fittest!’ It is ‘survival of the sleaziest’.
FN: hmm. What happened then? F1: None was willing to slow down for 2 seconds even when they were 200 meters away from me, voicing out their protests by honking loud and beaming the head-lights. Finally, one guy slowed down a bit and next thing I remember is this hospital bed.
FN: Try and remember anything! Anything at all! F1: Oh! Man, you are worse than most of those drivers, pushing me to the edge. I do remember the split few seconds between life and death. The guy who slowed down a bit, suddenly blared his horn, gunned towards me and hit me from behind; caused about 50 vehicles that followed him to collide in to each other, I am told by the busy hospital.
FN: You joking? How can you take a risk overtaking a slow moving vehicle in expressway? F1: I am in F1. That’s what I do for a living or dying in this incident, perhaps. Thought the guy was courteous! One of a kind! A rare civil driver in India! Boy! I was wrong. If I ever get out of here, I can learn a trick or two from these guys for my F1 racing.
FN: Do you know that he slowed down to check the change from the toll plaza, as he suddenly remembered that the coins didn’t seem to be at right count, what with the toll in the amount of Rs.117 and all? F1: There you go! You got the title for the news. Toll causes death toll in expressway! I don’t believe this! I am reduced to motionless due to a few coins? I can’t take this… the man faded away into coma again, feebly gesturing towards the Faking News reporter.