Thursday, 23rd November, 2017

Food security is our security

27, Aug 2013 By William Fakespeare

At a well-attended media conference in New Delhi this morning, Congress media chief, Ajay Maken released the party’s latest slogan coming close on the heels of the Food Security Bill being presented in the Lok Sabha late last night.

“Food Security Is Our Security” was plastered all over the place at the site of the media conference. ” There is our future security” said Mr. Maken, going on to elaborate why this was chosen by the Party. Ticking off points on his fingers , he said, ” The following are the main reasons why this slogan has been chosen by our VP, Shri Rahulji Gandhiji.

1.There is too much loose talk and criticism regarding  excessive security for VIPs. In Mumbai, only 27,00o out of 45,000 policemen are detailed for VIP security. Considering the bad environment prevailing,  this is grossly inadequate. We want the entire 45,000 policemen to be used for VIP security. Answering a question, ” What about the others? Don’t they need security?” He laughed and said, “Give us a break. We are providing  67 % of them with food security.”

2.Thanks to the movement spearheaded by Krishna Poonia, the discus thrower that she was denied Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna Award, it has been decided that in future Achievers in different walks of life will be rewarded with Food Security For Life. She will be the first recipient of the award. Others who seem to be in the running are Sachin Tendulkar, for having lost out to Dhyan Chand recently. Food security will ensure our sportsmen will be fully fit and full of energy ( if not food).

3.It is every Government’s fundamental right to reward faithful friends of the Party like Governors etc.  Food Security will be extended to those who were considered for Governors and Cabinet posts but couldn’t make the cut. ” We have high standards,” said Mr. Maken. “We cannot please all, but they need to be rewarded for their hard work ( read loyalty)

4.In future, we plan to tie up with India Film & Television Awards and other such bodies to extend Food Security to film stars instead of the old boring statuettes. We believe they should not feel left out. “

After all, he said, in conclusion, “our Party is inclusive.”