Sunday, 22nd October, 2017

First rain shower paralyzes Mumbai

06, Jul 2014 By jojo

Due to increased rains that Mumbai received there was chaos present everywhere. The newspaper reports state that this is a relief from the heat waves that were earlier present.

Due to high rainfall in the last 12 hours there was water accumulation. The water logging in the Khar subway was obvious. Sushil Malhotra a resident said “I always wanted to learn swimming, this is the best chance that i can do that by myself. Also there is no fear of drowning in case i fail.” The reporter observed that there were scores of people who were dressed up in the swimming attire who were very eager for the opportunity.

Meanwhile it is a common phenomena that in the monsoons there are high number of potholes developed. This has caused tremendous excitement to Pappu who in the future wants to be the driver for the astronauts in the moon. Pappu said “Americans don’t know how to drive safely in the moon and as a result their equipments suffer from damage. I believe that i can be a better choice as i am used to driving safely on the potholes in Mumbai. It is very well known that the condition of roads in Mumbai is worse than the condition of the Moon surface.”

The reporter checked out the condition of the roads on Google Earth and also Selenograph the map of the moon and can assert that this is quite true. The craters present in the moon are much more smaller and of gentle slope than the immediate craters formed in Mumbai roads. In Dahisar the crater that was formed due to the first rains that Mumbai received was found to be enormous. It was even bigger than the Gale crater in Mars where NASA’s Curiosity rover landed.

Pappu said, “Now I have to go and drive through this crater. I never miss a chance to drive through any craters present in Mumbai. Champu the dad of Pappu said ‘I knew my son would make me proud. He is uneducated but he is an excellent driver. I am sure NASA will want him. They need someone experienced enough to drive through the craters.”

Meanwhile people are keen to get the crater named after them. Donal said “Look i want to be remembered for the rest of my life and later and the best way to do that is to get this crater named after me.” This will translate into more money for the Municipal Corporation due to increased sales of forms. Arachana Sundaram has filed a petition in the local high court seeking a stay on the repairs to be carried out by the civic authorities. She says that it is a destruction of our heritage. The court has accepted the case and is set to hear about it this week. Meanwhile the MIT scientists are disturbed lot. The formation of crater on any planet surface without any crashing of Meteor is impossible. Dr. You SingaSong Geographer , an Ignoble Award Winner, at MIT said “We have to understand the dynamics involved. I am going there with my team to learn the background about it. May be i can write an article in a scientific journal and get a Noble award.”

The US military too is interested in civilian application. This could be an ideal scenario to stop the invading army and win the war. This technique which has been perfected by Mumbai also needs to be replicated by us, commented Tim Howard the new Secretary of Defence.

Meanwhile there was a wall collapse reported in Kurla’s Bail Bazaar, Mumbai suburb.  The reporter interviewed Hafiz who said “I was injured but i was able to get a selfie just in time. In the pic it looks my karate shot is the reason for the collapse of the wall ” Hafiz thinks this is good photo to impress anyone. I also am thinking of going to learn Karate and be a champ. Meanwhile the Central Railways was derailed completely thanks to the first showers that befell on Mumbai. However our reporter can confirm that this was not due to the unpreparedness of Central Railways. A kind hearted CR motorman named Rahul allowed kids in to his cabin. Rahul Singranikutty said ‘These kids looked innocent so i allowed them in my cabin. But they were pests. Once i began the train they wanted to press every button they could see. Imagine me controlling every kid present. I missed around 8 railway stations due to this and my act caused the entire railway to come to a stop. ’ He has promised to never allow any kid in to his cabin again. “I swear i won’t marry and don’t want any kids!!” Rahul added

Shreya Bhalucharan got the electrical shock of her life when the leaking water in the newly built metro trains caused her one. She says it was an excellent experience and looks forward to travelling in the Metro. “Lets face it daily travel is boring. You need something like this to make your day interesting. Besides i like the new hairstyle i got thanks to this shock. I could never decide the perfect hairstyle for me, this helped me.” She took a selfie and put it up on facebook where she received a 1000 likes and even marriage proposals from Locals, NRIs and even foreigners. It’s still being shared around the world. Faisbook too seems to be condycting a secret study on this. A source not willing to be named said “The results of this shocking hairstyle is really shocking!!”

Meanwhile the journey for the pedestrians and walkers continue to be a challenge in itself. Not only do they have to poke the step ahead of them to make sure that its not a block hole left opened  by the casual Civic Worker, they have to beware of any collapsing walls buildings around them and even roads that can develop crater all of a sudden. Psychiatrists too are making a killing.  Dolphy Sophiey said “We are seeing an increase in the number of Patients who visit us. Most of them are stressed, paranoid and tend to suffer from varying stages of PTSD.”

President Barack obama has praised Mumbai and its residents. He said “Let’s face it Mumbai residents are the best prepared. It is this level of preparedness that we expect from our citizens. Americans must aspire to be well prepared like this in the 21st century” He tweeted in his account that all the pending Green Card applications of Mumbaikars would be fast forwarded as he believes they have a vital contribution to make to the American Society. The reporter also has learned that China, US, UK would be sending their fact finding mission to get more knowledge about this incident and prepare their citizenry. With all this coming in the civic officials are upbeat no doubt.