Sunday, 25th June, 2017

Farmer pays back loan, bank manager dies of heart attack

25, Jul 2014 By yesakki

Rich agricultural landlord Mr X.Y.Z. Reddy from Godavari delta region in Andhra paid back his loan today shocking the entire farming landlord community in the nation. “What sort of idiot does such things? Criminal I say,” responded the leader of union on land lords, (automatically implies the political party leader) Mr A.B.C.D.E Reddy. “All he needed to do was to wait. We are not even asking him to default. Just wait till election and any governament will waive it off.”

KhapPanchayat
Visibly pissed off Khap guys.

This has opened the moral conundrum on fundamental India ethos. “Doing good beyond what is mandated by law is the very definition of stupidity,” said his wife who is planning a dharna against such a heinous act. She said she is just not sure where to do it though since the capital of Andhra is still no finalized.

Millions of patriots and moral crusaders across India wrote “bad bad things” on Mr Reddy’s facebook page. The gram panchayat has ostracized Mr X.Y.Z Reddy from the village. The villagers have made his life size wax statute. “We call this statue – the IDIOT. This is for future generations to see and learn not to do such stupid things henceforth”. Unfortunately, they later confused that with effigy and burnt it.

“He is like the Vijay Mallya of our generation.. Right?… the one who pays back loans right?,” Said Varun Dhawan, while flaunting his IQ and GK proficiency.

The bank manager who had written a bad debt provision the very day of sanctioning loan (and getting a portion of that loan amount) died of heart attack when the loan was paid back in full. “He had to rework the ledgers. This is like a 2 minute work. Being a PSU bank employee such heavy work load gives a massive heart attack,” reads the post mortem report by the Govt Hospital compounder.

Political parties have gone into a panic mode at the loss of the single most important vote bank motivator; vis a vis the load waiver. RBI says that if loans are paid back then they do not know how to handle such liquidity. The farmer also plans to pay for electricity and diesel. Citizens and political parties have approached SC to issue a stay order on his attempts.