Professor Paranaoid (P2) and Doctor Delusional (D2) in their sensational blog P2D2′s Fantastical Theories have debunked the theory that the new Prime Minister Narendra Modi is remotely controlled by the RSS.
Instead they claim that he is actually being controlled by the Harappans of the Indus Valley Civilization. They also expose mind-boggling truths about the “bade hoton wala PM“.
Journalist Skeptical Suzie reports exclusively for Faking News.
SS : You claim to use scientific methods to back your theory. However you have never published in a established journal. Why is that?
P2D2 ( gets agitated ) : Everyone knows that journals are a waste of time. Too much scrutiny for too little circulation. On a blog the theories are instantly available to the whole internet. You just need good distribution. And besides how many of you “journal”ists would ever (never-ever-never )get published by a journal.
P2D2 ( regaining composure ) : Please can you stick to the point of discussion.
SS: So you claim that the Namo is the agent of the Harappans? How did you come to the conclusion.
P2D2 : We studied the similarities between the artifacts of Indus Civilization and Mr. Modi and there is a striking similarity between the priest king (lips and beard) and the PM.
SS: So you’re suggesting that he is the re-incarnation of the priest king?
P2D2: We are not suggesting an unscientific and non-secular thing as re-incarnation. We in fact think that the Harappans are using trans-temporal-plasto-influencers [What is this?. See box below] centered around his lips and beard to make him say whatever they want. (See Image 1 ). That’s why India has a “bade-hoton-wala” PM.
P2D2 : Time travellers returning from the Indus civilization tell us that Harappans are livid at the state of the country which was once theirs. Usually they do not intervene in inter-era politics. However they are currently locked in a fierce competition with China for the award of civilization of the era. A certain weightage is given in the competition to the current state of the civilizations and hence they want to improve their chances with manipulations in present day India.
SS: So what can we expect from the puppet PM?
P2D2: True to their record, we expect Harappans to unleash massive urbanization with stress on sanitation. Also agriculture and trade will get a fillip.
P2D2 : We also believe that this is not the first time that the Harappans have wielded influence. They had once used the same technique during India’s freedom struggle, to Dandi march the British out of India. ( See Image 2 )
Note. What are trans-temporal-plasto-influencers? When an artifact separated by time is used to exert influence over a human subject.The victim shows residual signs of the artifact where the influence is most prominent.