Tuesday, 21st November, 2017

Enlightened by Rahul's 'Poverty, a state of mind' theory, tribal went to buy BMW

06, Aug 2013 By Aashish

Public outrage was witnessed across the nation after Rahul Gandhi’s enlightened comments on alleviation of poverty in the country surfaced in media. At a discourse today, Rahul Gandhi noted that poverty is a state of mind and had nothing to do scarcity of food, money or material things.

No state, no mind.

Immediately after hearing these comments, a tribal attending the discourse walked to the  BMW showroom in Ambience Mall Gurgaon, proudly announced that his state of mind was rich and he would like to take home a BMW 7 series. Speaking from his hospital bed later, Rakesh said, “I thought the hot receptionist would welcome me with a smile and later let me drive her home as well. But instead the manager called for guards and got me kicked me out within seconds. I don’t get it, I thought I was merely following what Rahul Baba asked us to.” Faking News later learnt that the BMW agency manager boasted of having roughed up 15th such “enlightened” buyer until this report came in.

When contacted for their reaction on incident and the absurd comments by the party vice-president, local Congress MPs said, “lying in a hospital with multiple fractures is a state of mind. It did not mean months of bed rest, pain or cost of treatment. If one possesses self-confidence, then one can overcome fear a simple bashing by a few bouncers”.

Apart from Rakesh, beggar kids on traffic signals were also victimized of the tom-foolishness when Digvijay Singh reprimanded them for jumping around naked and asked them to instead get some self-confidence. Although no verified reports exists, it is believed that the kids gave Diggy a piece of their mind instead.

Meanwhile, in Delhi, Congress party is working on “State-of-mind ordinance” wherein past and future scams of the government, being a mere state of mind, will not require any inquiry. “This will save millions for the treasury. What is the point in employing CAG, CBI, Lokpal Commission and other authorities which spend taxpayers’ money only to give clean chits to the babus. Rahul Gandhi has given the nation a state of mind which will ensure that such wastage never happens again”, said Akhilesh Yadav, who also claimed to have removed IAS officers in his state without even using his mind.

Congress party president Sonia Gandhi seemed to be far more excited on the new magic mantra to get the UPA government out of its miseries before 2014 polls. In a hurried press conference, Mrs. Gandhi said, “We have decided to go back on our decision to give Telangana a separate statehood. Since Telangana is only a state of mind, we encourage the protesting people to redeem their self-esteem by getting associated with self-help groups like Rajiv Gandhi Utkrishtha Chhattervrit…. the relevant yojnas of the government in this behalf.”

Mr. Narendra Modi immediately compared Mrs. Gandhi to Chatur from the movie 3 idiots for her lake of knowledge of simple Hindi words like Utkrishtha Chattervriti while PMO later tweeted the increased count of the speeches made by the PM which now stands at 1,305 (including state of mind speeches).