DESI (Dostana of Engineering Students in India), the leading body representing interests of current and prospective engineering students, has demanded that IIMs allow engineering students to sit for CAT at the end of 2nd year of their course instead of the final year.
Said Madar Bored the spokesperson of DESI, “Most engineering students need 2 years to prepare for CAT and start studying for the same at the end of their 2nd year. The few who are unfortunate enough to be in colleges in which they are actually taught engineering take about 2 years and 15 days to prepare. If they are allowed to sit for CAT at the end of second year, they can commence preparation right from the day their step into their engineering college campuses and save two years of their lives.”
However our Faking News correspondent wasn’t clear on how this shall work so he quizzed Mr. Madar Bored further about how will a student complete the last two years of his engineering program if he clears CAT and gets selected by an MBA institute at the end of his 2nd year.
“Correspondence!!” retorted Mr. Bored without batting an eyelid, “These days everything can be learnt by correspondence. My own nephew recently picked up driving through a correspondence course. What is engineering then?”
Faking News sought the views of Mr. Champak Bhumia, an engineering aspirant who was solving a calculus problem on his palm while waiting for his turn outside a men’s toilet. Here is what he had to say – “I completely support this demand by DESI. I have currently enrolled for preparation of engineering entrance exams at Forget IITJEE (FIITJEE). If I am allowed to take CAT at the end of my second year then I can enroll in their MBA preparation program as well and get a huge discount for taking this ‘package’.
Faking News has learnt from reliable sources that other popular MBA preparation institutes like Career Finisher and TIME Bomb are seriously contemplating offering engineering entrance exams preparation classes in order to counter competition from FIITJEE.
Faking News then contacted Mr. Mac Kinsey, professor of strategy at IIM Ahmedabad, via the prepaid phone of one of its interns, to seek his thoughts on the issue.
“As it is I am fed of students being selected into the IIMs without any prior work experience.” thundered Mr. Mac Kinsey at the other end, “They have no idea about how a business runs and try to shove absolute bull-shit down my throat in the name of class participation. Their arguments are like my wife’s farts – loud but devoid of any fragrance. That’s why I love my wife but hate my students. The ones who come in with some work experience have only worked in IT companies and can’t think beyond coding. The other day a mother f***** in the class was looking for ‘bugs’ in the BCG matrix!! I am completely against this demand and if it is approved then I may actually ‘dare to dream beyond the IIMs’ and join Indian Institute of Ponytail Management (IIPM).”
Faking News caught up with Tanuj Khosla, its in-house expert on such matters. “This demand by DESI is completely justified” said Tanuj while sprinkling chilli flakes on his scoop of vanilla ice-cream, “In fact I would strongly urge engineering colleges to start offering lectures on the topics tested in CAT in order to attract more students. Also this way the students and professors shall get to meet each other during the semester. Engineering colleges can even jack up their fees by a bit, as students shall save on the money they would normally spend on MBA coaching institutes and hence won’t mind paying a little extra. It is a win-win situation for everybody. Kudos to DESI for coming up with such a brilliant idea.”