Bangalore. In a shocking discovery with potential to turn civilization on its head, an IT company has been found with actual employee friendly policies in place.
Before readers dismiss this thinking all IT companies have employee friendly policies on paper, we wish to restate that this company was found indulging in Actual Practice On a Daily Basis kind of employee friendly policies.
Based on anonymous employee survey conducted by Faking News and sting operations supervised independently by ex Aam Aadmi Party investigation team, following shameful and gory facts have emerged:
1. Employees are willing to provide candid feedback on record with normal camera.
2. Employees work only 8 hours a day which included lunch and unlimited coffee breaks.
3. Employees have always received inflation beating increments year after year.
4. Any weekend work is compensated with comp-off and 2 day salary for each weekend day worked.
5. Work from home is encouraged as much possible.
*the more disturbing details in areas of free gourmet meals and day care facilities have been withheld to not offend feelings of Aam IT employees*
The HR community has taken serious view of this matter. Speaking to our correspondent, Shelly Sengupta Grewal, PR for Human And Resource Administration Management Institute (leading think tank on all matters HR) has expressed deep disgust and betrayal of HR community by the HR management of IT company in question.
“Bloody who made these jokers HR managers in the first place? Which 4th grade HR college did these idiots graduate from? I am immediately calling for suspension of all HRs from the company with immediate effect and proposing revaluation of HR course offered by their respective institutes.”
“You tell me, what is the purpose of HR department?” When Faking News correspondent tried replying on the lines of employee growth and well being for mutual benefit of employee and organization….Miss Shelly almost exploded with anger
“Mutual benefit my foot. Thank god you are not an HR manager else you would have ruined the organization. HR is there to carry activities solely for purposes of betterment and benefit of HR community while giving semblance of being working for benefit of employees. Bloody this is HR 101 that these folks have just forgotten.”
“Do you know how much cost all these so called practiced employee friendly policies would bring on the industry? 100 million$ for the entire industry! Now before you question the number, it has been arrived at after 1 billion $ study by leading strategy consulting firm. “
On being questioned that why they did not take notice when the aforementioned company was making it to best places to work list, Miss Shelly’s anger quickly turned to laughter and once she regained composure after 2 minutes she replied, “Don’t tell me as a mature adult you take those things seriously. We never take them seriously ourselves. We just work closely with marketing team on surveys and make available employees due for promotion for interaction with the survey conductor who know how to behave responsibly.”
At this point of time the corresponded felt disgusted with his life and joined MBA entrance coaching, aspiring to become an HR soon.