Sunday, 18th February, 2018

Either subsidize or distribute alcohol for free: SC to Govt

29, Aug 2013 By cynic

In a new directive, Supreme Court has advised Government to either subsidize or distribute alcohol free of cost.

Not going into the details of the directive, the first reaction of the government is: Where would we get money from, if we subsidize alcohol? as it is the second most revenue generator and contributes nearly 1/5th  to the state’s treasury.

(This is in TamilNadu, where people from Andhra & Karnataka feel that people there are being served the shittiest liquor. Then imagine the amount of revenue it generates from AP, Karnataka & ROI.)

Going into the details, this directive is delivered by a special bench, headed by Justice Markandey Katju. The idea for the special bench has been triggered by this Faking News article.

After a thorough investigation, it has been identified that the Arab citizens are deprived of liquor, skin showing movie industry, fairness cream ads, other entertainment & hope building outlets.

Liquor and skin show is “SIN” under Islam and is banned in Arab countries. In India, protesting people have good memories of having a drink & enjoying a Bollywood movie,  and these good experiences make the protesters “To Think Beyond the Protest”.

But for the Arab counterparts, they had nothing in the past & nothing to look forward & hence they protest. In some cases, fairness cream ads are good enough to divert the attention of the protesters as they build hope of a fairer future. There is nothing of this sort in the Arab countries as the women wear burkha’s and men get to marry as many as they can.

In short, the special bench has decided that the teachings of Islam is playing a large role in the protests and the Indian government need not worry much about Egypt or Turkey style protests.

But the Supreme Court being conservative, wants the Government to be on the safe side, as  it feels that it might not take much time for the people of India to come out of this shit, & in order to keep the people there it has released the directives of providing subsidized alcohol, tax breaks for Bollywood, providing free video games to children and making them eat fast foods, etc.

When asked how is it the SC’s responsibility to provide such directives, it said that such protests create law and order problems and in the hindsight of Delhi protests, it feels that it is its moral responsibility to prevent such protests from occurring, as it may lead to loss of life and many other problems.

When reporters pointed to Gujarat, where alcohol is prohibited, Justice Katju said that Narendra Modi had given its people riots, which are equivalent to protests, if not diabolical.

Taking this directives & Katjus’s criticism as an opportunity, BJP came out heavily on UPA & Katju and said that it is the work & development provided by Narendra Modi that has helped him won the hearts of Gujarati’s and other Indian’s. A comment on this from Modi is awaited.

Arindam Chaudhary, wanting to gain some brownie points after all his recent failed hoopla’s, said that he was the chief architect of the Arab revolutions as he had taught them to “Think Beyond the Dictatorships”. After this comments, sensing Mr. Chaudhary as a potential threat, government has hired him to develop its risk mitigation strategy, for which Mr. Chaudhary has happily complied.

In the report, it has also suggested the government not to arrest citizens, when they show dissidence as in the cases of Aseem Trivedi or the two girls who vent their frustration at the time of Bal Thackeray’s death, as it may lead to more dissidence and more protests. It said that citizens forget very easily and the Govt should not challenge them with such kind of things.

This is not the first time supreme court has taken a proactive stance and the country is eagerly waiting for more such suggestions.